September 21, 2026

as much as i joke
that i hate people

i really do
do a lot of things
to help out
people

and care
so hard
about people

and my life’s purpose seems to be
helping people
healing people
slowly
one by one
conversation by conversation
just making people feel
listened-to
and heard

i hate when other people don’t do what i do
don’t really truly listen

but then, if they all did
i’d have no purpose in this world
would i?

~~~

[but there are too many people
in this world
to heal

and too much to heal
in one conversation

why can’t people just
be
kind?]

~~~

the older i get
the less i look for
fame
and my name
in lights
and other goals i had myself convinced
i needed to make my time
here on this planet
count

those were always a means to an end

the end being healing

the end being feeling listened to

and i can do that better one on one
than with a large fan-base
anyway

so kindness is what i look for
and what i hope to leave
on this planet

i really do intend to leave it
better than i found it

and if that means taking each person i meet
and making them feel
important to me

then that’s good because
they are.

January 5, 2025

a goal
became a challenge
became a dare
became a pact

and i’m only acting in accordance with
the original wording i signed
onto in this contract
with myself

[perhaps i will stop referring to this as a poetry-writing challenge
with a word count goal
and use instead the words
dare
and
pact

they hold more equal weight
with what this has done
to my soul]

August 3, 2025

everything in my life
seems to be
on delayed reaction time —

processing traumatic events/
pain responses to any injury/
excitement and anxiety responses/
processing temperature changes in my body/
even my damn tarot cards seem
a little too far away from the reading
to the event they foretold
to be anything less than
delayed

[but, i suppose, that’s just how my body/soul
plays this little life game]

June 11, 2025

sometimes
i need to remind myself
that i needn’t set out to change minds

when i write from my own soul
no certain goal in my mind
that’s when others’ are impacted
and yes, sometimes, changed

[but what if the mind i need to change
is my own?]

January 22, 2025

i’d love to be a
“yes and”
find the funnest stream
go with the flow
and see whatever happens
happening
kind of person

but raising myself from the time i was
approximately 11
gave me some sort of
perfectionistic
type-a-personality
care and careful
self-preservation
overly cautious
kind of vibe constantly fighting against my
natural chaotic state

and hey

maybe it’s the opposite

maybe my natural state is more type-a
and the immediacy of seeing how
life is fleeting
gave me the drive to try to
induce chaos and joy in my life

but whichever way the truth lies
the sentiment still stands:
i have one part of me in chaos
and one part of me trying for strict alignment
and the two parts are forever fighting
inside my mind/my heart/my body/my soul
and rather than tempering each to a
reasonable level, they simply
stop
all action in either direction
and so i am neither cautious nor chaotic
i am simply

stuck.

January 11, 2025

trying desperately to please
at least two out of the three
of my soul/mind/body

but i think
i need to think
of the systems working together —
sometimes seemingly in opposition,
but they are all 100% part of me —
and if i can align myself
in harmony
and symmetry
with all three,
i think i may have an easier time
within the parts of me
that make me
me

February 27, 2023

slant rhymes
sidelines
within this line the image aligns
too obvious
too salacious
too heavy-handed to be a poem by my hand
but here i am
writing just for writing’s sake
opening my soul to a computer screen
to see what
(if anything)
takes