January 31, 2025

everything feels like sci fi these days

whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day

or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us

or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]

and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears

it really does feel
like sci fi
around here

January 21, 2025

just write through
the pain and
the loss and
the lost feelings and
the sleepiness and
the exhaustion and
the boredom and
the mundanity and
the distractions and
the battles and
the fight and
when the fight leaves us
for an hour or a day or a year
or so
we can write ourselves
back into the fight
if it means enough to us

[and yes, it means enough
to me]

November 27, 2024

birthday poems:

~~~

cotton candy coffee
for my birthday morning
and remembering the good things
that happened this year
[so next time i can only see
the terrible, i have something
to comfort me]

~~~

aging
in an age
where my own kin
are more likely to die
before this age
than i
simply because of the color of their skin
and their femininity called into question
and it aches in my whole
soul
to know
the hatred faced is meaningless
in the grand scheme of the universe
but the effects of suffering
very much
matter

in this day and age
where we have so much
what happened to humanity
that hoarding became more socially acceptable
than sharing
and giving

~~~

like a kid
on their birthday
here i am
on mine
trying
to follow the dopamine
and have a good time

but our puppy is sick
[though doing so much better!]
and there is so much pain and suffering
in the world
that’s about to get
a whole lot
worse

and i know if i
follow my own drive
and sense of self
i can do things
for me
while at the same time
following/providing
helping hands
for others

[all while battling the existential crisis
that is
turning 27 for a ninth time]

November 7, 2024

keep writing
keep protesting
keep donating
keep impacting
the way you can impact.
and if you feel you can’t
take a moment to grieve that track
and look for backroads
into movements
and remember — the smallest impact
isn’t small at all
if a living being feels
cared for.

June 8, 2024

so many things
happening at once
keeping an eye on the cat
to make sure she doesn’t throw up
having a schedule
in your brain
and making sure it equals
the one written down
and keeping relationships
and keeping pets
fed and happy and healthy
[yes, the friends, too]
and also yourself
i mean, that’s a lot to do
not even getting into
late-stage capitalism
and how everyone needs multiple jobs
to keep the debt collector away
and keeping up to date
on social/political issues
to be an informed voter

how does any human do it these days?

February 29, 2024

a first leap day
of this poetry project
and i’m still stuck in my head
in processing a dream i had
about churches on roller coaster tracks
and fast fast carousel spins of UU congregations
for the purpose of awareness
for the purpose of social change
for saying Nex Benedict’s name
and never again
never again
never again

February 21, 2024

is it true?
that hearts synchronize in beat beat beating rhythms
when sitting in an audience
of a performance

i agree —
i want so badly to believe —
and it probably comes from some sort of truth
[there’s that study of church vs live musical performance
and how they give the same
spiritually
significant
feeling]
and i know my heart’s emotions
synchronized with those around me:
gripping our chests
because we couldn’t reach deep
and hold our own hearts,
murmurs of agreement
of sorrow
of unthinkable pain and loss and struggles to keep humanity,
and humming catchy tunes as they remained stuck after the applause had ended,
and feeling as though the whole space —
performers
audience members
volunteers
everyone —
had hugged me and held me
as i
as we
listened to damn near unbearable story after unbearable story after unbearable story…
but we bore it,
and we were witnesses to it,
all
for the synchronization
of our
beating
hearts

June 6, 2023

almost
accidentally
wrote
the date as
june 6, 3023
and i have to ask:
will we still be
here?
we
as in the human species
as in any species
at all?
here
as in on this planet
in this universe
a part of existence
at all?

i gotta ask
because at this rate
it seems
high key
unlikely
unless some changes
happen
swiftly