crabby
cranky
for no other reason than
dreams
but here i am
feeling real feelings
based on speculative happenings
all made up by my own mind
what a silly thing this
human existence is
sleepy
December 7, 2024
wow
so tired
barely able
to get words out
before being distracted
by something sleepy
like big yawns or
just gazing off
into nothing
so tired
wow
October 24, 2024
unaware
how to be aware
whilst i’m only aware
of how damn tired i am
this morning
August 2, 2024
that first sip of coffee
when one is extremely tired
is like the first breath of fresh air
after a held breath
is like opening eyes behind glasses
for the first time
is like a warm summer storm
to wash off everything unneeded
[if only the second and third sips
could remain just as
enlightening]
August 1, 2024
there are things on the to-do list
but when i get the time to do them
i find myself in desperate need of rest —
either to fully pass out
on the couch
asleep as soon as
my eyes close
or
the brain rest of a video game,
and the body rest of heat pack therapy,
and the emotional rest of sitting next to a cat or a puppy —
and i completely forget everything on my
multitudes of lists
[is this just the
maybehd way???]
July 24, 2024
this morning’s
morning pages
are especially randomized
and i don’t know if that’s because
there were none yesterday
or if it’s because i’m still half sleepy-state
or if the vibe has been
stale
these last few days/weeks/maybe a month now
but i cannot
cannot
cannot abide by
poetry that doesn’t make me
wonder
at my own psyche.
July 21, 2024
i know why
rip van winkle
is more of a horror story
than anything else
i get it
i do
but
sometimes i daydream of taking a nap
that lasts one hundred years
[give or take]
and that is when i finally
almost
barely
kind of
feel
any sort of
well-rested
vibe
May 22, 2024
still half asleep
still half deep in the
vibe that was yesterdays time
trying and trying to be, once again
a person who leaves their home now and then
but the sleep got me good
as i hope sometimes it would
and i know i really should
do something, anything to actually wake
but i have to say
this sleepy way
is kinda great
the vibes are
nap
rather than
panic attack
and that’s nice.
October 28, 2023
my eyes droop
heavy-lidded
with sleep not-yet forgotten
dreams hold me in their vice-grips
and i can’t escape
even what i can’t remember
i once asked someone what some part of my personality
meant in terms of the rest of me
and they stated, very plainly, that i don’t live in reality
(at least not when i can help it)
and i completely
agree
February 2, 2023
i am in a mood where
sitting still by a blank document
one arm on the table/laptop/keyboard
one in my lap
no movement
just thought
is far more comforting
(and possibly productive)
than churning out poem after poem
~~~
and yet i will write
because that is what i do
and that seems to be my calling
(at least as of late)
and sometimes one needs to have a moment of stillness
before capturing that stillness in art
(if we just try to capture it without fully feeling it
that art is meaningless
wouldn’t you agree?)
~~~
the droopy eyelids
hover over my eyes
laden with sleep
and a few days of tech week
and i am contemplating writing
contemplating huddling back under the sheets
contemplating at least a few moments of peace
before the craziness of today begins
kipventures 