perched
like a gremlin
atop the specialty cushion that is
supposed to
help my back/glute issues,
but only if i sit on it
like a normal human
no wonder i never fully
rid myself of my aches
and pains
perched
like a gremlin
atop the specialty cushion that is
supposed to
help my back/glute issues,
but only if i sit on it
like a normal human
no wonder i never fully
rid myself of my aches
and pains
if i sit perched
like a little bird
will the words stream out faster
and faster
like getting ready for takeoff
flying
soaring
through ideas and concepts and
landing with the right words
every
time?
i NEVER sit the same way
for more than forty minutes
[unless i’m at a play
and i am next to people i don’t necessarily know
then i force myself:
feet flat on the ground,
hands in my lap,
holding on for dear life
the position i’ve chosen;
whether i get antsy,
whether i am uncomfortable,
whether i end up thinking more about my body position
in a tiny chair
than the play or musical itself;
i have to be
NOT
the mess beside the person
that ruined the show for them —
if that means i must ruin the show for myself
so be it.]
the one
and only
good thing
about not having kip with me
for morning poetry
time
is that their chair across from mine
can be my footstool
and i can lengthen my legs up
and relax
and stretch out
and
sit how i’d like to sit
still arms on the table
still laptop directly in front of me
but with legs propped how they’d like to be
but
that is literally the only good thing
for when they need to sleep in
for when they need to be out and working
for when they’re in a different city
or even just upstairs from me
otherwise
i miss
everything
when i write
i write at a table
but i don’t use the table
(except to hold my morning coffee)
i slide down in my chair
and lift my legs to the other across
and lay my laptop across my lap
cross one foot over the other
and write until my legs or butt falls asleep
or until my terrible posture hurts my back
or until my arms start to get sore
from low-key holding my laptop on my criss-crossed lap
and somehow this works for me
though i can’t help but imagine
a me
where i sit properly
feet fully reaching the floor
posture great
writing without pain sneaking its way in
and wonder if
i’d write
better
longer
if i sat like
a regular person
~~~
the cat gallops upstairs
chasing invisible ghosts
and singing the song of her kin
and at least she can amuse herself like this
for hours on end
while we break our evening’s fast with coffee and poetry and song
the cat’s harmony never quite fitting with whatever we play
but that’s why we love it (and her) so
~~~
i would like to write a letter to my grandmama some time today
because she constantly writes me lovely greetings
‘how are you’s’ and ‘here’s been my day’
and i love them so much.
and i’ve told her,
but i know the reciprocal is just as loved as the appreciation
and she literally said she wonders how we’re doing
so i suppose that’s what is on my agenda
(other than circus)
today
sitting
in a new chair
a not-mine chair
an also not really normal chair
a saddle chair
a fidget chair
a chair designed to sit weird ways when you hate sitting normally in chairs
chair
and i love it
(maybe
eventually
we’ll get me a this chair)