July 21, 2021

decisions
preparing
discussions
excitement?
maybe?

~~~

all these silly
vague
hints
peek into my world
but don’t see
fully

~~~

do i write today?
do i post today?
do i wait today?
who knows?
(certainly not i)

July 16, 2021

a kip home
a home for kips
the kippiest house to ever house a kip

but where/what/how is it?

~~~

do i feel better
(je me sens plus bien)
when i write in french
(quand j’écris en français)
because i don’t have to think as deeply?
(parce que je ne dois pas penser que profondément?)

–> est-ce que je me sens mieux quand j’écris en français parce que je n’ai pas à réfléchir aussi profondément?

~~~

someday
(maybe someday soon?)
i’ll get to create
the secret garden
of my dreams

June 23, 2021

another adventure
another setting out
this time for something
not quite as happy
but hopefully fulfilling
and connecting
and kind.

~~~

there are studies
that show
the earlier you deal with death
the better
(or so much worse)
you are at handling any death
as an adult.

i solidly fall into the second category,
my brain short circuiting whenever death is present
whenever someone is grieving
my go-to comfort is
to leave them alone.

but when you’re not a pre-teen
figuring out exactly what you need,
most folks would opt for connection
for a few words of comfort
not alone time.

so
after months of watching back episodes of
“Ask a Mortician”
and
reading her books
and
listening to her podcast
i’ve figured out a better way of dealing with death:

i ask the grieving person
what their favorite memory is of their loved one.
i specify they don’t have to share with me,
(but i’d be happy to hear if they choose),
but to simply think of their favorite memory.

i’ve only had two opportunities to use it so far,
but both felt connective,
kind,
and i felt useful
(all i really want to feel anyway)

so,
anyone grieving,
(or having gone through grief),
what’s your favorite memory of that person?

~~~

our dog
staring at her food
for minutes upon minutes
as if she’s having an existential crisis

(what a way for the universe to show us she belongs with us)

June 20, 2021

though we all loved the green
and the adventures
and the folks
we saw last week
(Louka especially)
i, for one, feel more myself
with this particular cat
back on my lap
once more.

~~~

motion alarms
sometimes useful
sometimes just a bee
trying to say ‘hi’

~~~

ranked choice voting
is here
(the giant booklet tells us)

early voting ends today
and though we will still be in town
for the actual election
we’ll probably vote early

because who knows what’ll happen on tuesday
but at least we know that
we’re free today

June 18, 2021 (part 2)

who really is
good
at goodbyes?

~~~

when i visit new places
i associate certain parts of them
with places i’ve been before

“this area reminds me of the east side of Madison”
“this one gives me big Toronto energy”
“well, this is like if Milwaukee and Cleveland had a baby…”

on and on,
until i see something truly unique,
or i’ve been there long enough
to associate it with itself.

~~~

stomach aches
is it packing stress?
is it travel anxiety?
is it getting back into the “real” world?

or is it the apprehension of expectation for more adventure
now that we’re both vaccinated and activated?

June 18, 2021

fixed the coffee maker
got so excited
messed it up a different way

new mistakes

~~~

interesting that i poem
about the banal
when i wish for such adventure
in my life

is it simply because poetry
is usually more introspective
than not?

(unless, of course, we are talking old school,
whole story,
epic poetry)

or is its because
i want to get a bit better
and poetry-ing
before i go on such excursions
with words?

~~~

of course
(of course)
i cannot have a short poem day
with only two.
the third poem is what
ties it all together
and makes my anxiety
settle down
(just a bit)

June 16, 2021 (part 2)

when one is not plagued
by friendship degradation mechanics
a special vacation
to see old friends
can nearly immediately
feel abnormally normal
to the point where
you kind of forget
where you are
or how old you are
(or everything else that has happened these last few years
when folks ask how your life has been…)

~~~

driving
still equals freedom
but the freedom
explored
in the united states of america
isn’t really that free
(when was it ever?)

~~~

how are toddlers
both
straight up babies
and tiny real humans
at the same time?

May 17, 2021

everything
is getting grey
while the sun shines brighter and brighter
and i want to be able to see the sun
and the sky
and the stars
but nothing seems recognizable anymore

(and staring at the sun is real bad for your eyes)

~~~

humor
within
tragedy

is it a sign of good writing
or just deeper seeded depression

~~~

smaller poems
capturing
greater feelings

[isn’t/wasn’t that the aim all along?]

May 16, 2021

i want to do
something
with all these poems
posting them seems the best option
but also
i’m scared.
i’m scared of people seeing them
i’m scared of no one seeing them
i’m scared i’ll succeed
i’m scared i’ll fail
i’m scared of so many things
(when did i get so scared?)

~~~

creativity
breeds
creativity

depression
breeds
depression

just keep that in mind.

~~~

oh
when did i start writing
for me?