March 10, 2022

emotions
swirling
around
scattered and unfounded
(at least half of them)

~~~

do i want to
do work
then
be creative,
or can i
somehow
find the creativity
inside the work?

~~~

all the possibilities
and none of the
decision-making confidence.

~~~

all?
or none?
or some?
now?
or later?
or combine?
or alone?
or is it even worth it?

~~~

i wish i remembered what it was like
to find my path of thought
through
the poetry at my fingertips
instead of
halting
phrases
catching
words
tiny poems
barely scratching the surface
of all that’s underneath
this rainbow hair…

~~~

if i trace the keyboard
gently
will it make the words come easier?
will the emotions be quantifiable
and able to be categorized
and boxed up
and shipped out
to future me
to deal with
in a different [head]space?

February 5, 2022

open the eyes
crawl out of the bed
put on the clothes
brush the teeth
grab the laptop
shuffle down the stairs
write the poetry
be dissatisfied in the poetry
listen to the ‘evil classical’ playlist
zone out for a bit
write more of the poetry
be dissatisfied in the poetry
meow back at the cat
drink the coffee
read the script for the new podcast
gaze at the dog
write even more of the poetry
feel generally ok about the poetry
change the capitalization
copy and paste into the website
publish the poem
get on with the day