i’ve been struggling
with ribs popping out of place
and muscle strain
and election anxiety
and generalized depression
and every time something feels
just a little too much for me
and i dissociate
and try to intellectualize
“why am i feeling this way?”
i just look around, and
there’s my answer.
rib out of place
October 28, 2024
rib
out of place
again???
how am i supposed to do
anything
when i’m constantly scared
of fucking up
my whole side
by simply wrapping myself up
in ways i have already done
countless times in the past?
how am i supposed to do
anything
when my body doesn’t even know
how it is supposed to be
aligned?
how am i supposed to do
anything
when i never know
if this pain is bad
or simply residual
recovery
pain?
[pain is my sole indicator
that something is wrong,
but i never ever know
if the pain is a warning
a crisis
or simply part of being…]
October 27, 2024
halloween nails
and a halloween sweatshirt
and a spooky rib
that keeps moving out of place
on its own
like it’s haunted
i think i’m already ready
for thursday
April 30, 2021
staring at this blank screen
trying to come up with the poems to write today
the concepts flowing in and out
thinness
and queerness
and how they intersect
body dysmorphia and dysphoria
(words i get so mixed up
because they are near equally balanced in my mind
and while they are two stems
they seem to bud into the one same flower),
and how these all intersect
but i’ve thrown a rib out of place
and i am spending a little too much time concentrating on
keeping the ice pack where it needs to be
even while my cat shifts her weight around on my lap,
and trying to pay attention to what positions i’m in
when the pain gets to a bit of a crescendo,
and apparently these are the things that my mind needs to concentrate on
not making the next great queer poetry collection
so…there’s that i guess.
[life]
kipventures 