it’s ok
to take a little break
every once in a while
it might even be
necessary
[right? i ask myself
my subconscious and my
inner capitalist and my
perfectionistic brain
right?
right???]
it’s ok
to take a little break
every once in a while
it might even be
necessary
[right? i ask myself
my subconscious and my
inner capitalist and my
perfectionistic brain
right?
right???]
my body
likes rest
but not too much
not too much
and it likes working and stretching
but not overly so
and i know
i know
i know that nearly every body
benefits from moderation
in damn near everything
but
damn
i feel like my body is a little more finicky
about where exactly that moderation starts
and ends
and excess
begins
the last
few weeks
we’ve gotten so little sleep
at night,
what with parties happening
two doors down,
or our dog
trying to lick away her own skin,
or the cat
being…a cat;
sleep has been
interrupted
at best
and non-existent
at worst
but last night
we may have slept through the night?
(or at least, had 3 or less wake-ups,
instead of our usual
10+)
and i feel
p rested
and my body
(and brain)
have no idea
how
to feel
[emotionally]
about that.
~~~
i wonder if i’ll ever feel
like
my poetry has a direction
a perspective
a purpose
a reason to keep writing and writing
other than my own
obsession
with
what the hell this life/world/brain is
but for now
i’ll just keep
writing
and writing
and writing and writing and writing
my damn-near gibberish-ness
and hope it sparks
*something*
in someone
in time.
~~
question
everything
answer
nothing
preserve
some things
and continue
on
in the morning
these pages
[these poems]
soothe me,
subdue me,
make me
more pliable
less early-morning-needing-a-strech-stiff-as-fuck,
and if the night has been restless
with less sleep than is ever needed
by me
i can sort through the fog
and become more of a person
(more of a me)
than i was in the deep dark depths of the
strugglenight
it used to be that
taking the glasses off
and sticking the contacts in
my eyes
was my way of waking up,
but recently
it seems
the sudden alertness
has been replaced with
a
slow, steady awareness
of the day
beginning
as i type out
my thoughts
moment by moment
word by word
letter by letter
thought by thought
[with, of course, the gracious assist
of a mug full of cold coffee
to aid as need be]