i should really turn my computer
off
at some point,
let all the tabs i have up
rest
for an evening
or even overnight
and give the inner workings
of this overworked and overpriced
silver slip of a laptop
a moment of chill time
before turning it on again
and leaving it on
for another few
years
rest
April 24, 2024
a night without my kip
is like seventy nights with only two hours’ sleep
is like all the comfort of a big bed and no cover for warmth to keep
is like relying on noises to lull you, and finding nighttime in extreme silence
for the first time
ever.
a night without my kip
is not a night of
rest.
October 1, 2023
i can’t concentrate today
at least not on the creative aspects of me
maybe it’s a good day
to just
rest
[if i can allow myself
simply
to be]
July 24, 2023
unawake
today of all days
of driving hours and hours
and caring for puppies
and doing adult things
and talking to fathers
and writing poetries
when my eye just wants to rest
away from screens or intensive lookings —
maybe tomorrow will be
less painful
in the iris
May 28, 2023
the same imagination
that skews to
worst-case scenarios
and all the dire ways
we could all be fucked
in this society of ours
is the same one that shows me
there’s more to life than just
consumption
and
competition,
that encourages me to find
better solutions to terrible problems,
that proves to me
there are better
more equitable
more humane
societies
than this…
every coin
has two sides
this sword
has both edges
black must stand out amongst white
and we all know yin
and yang
aren’t balanced
if they’re not
together
[but sometimes i wish
this imagination would just
let me rest]
May 11, 2023
got myself
a bum ankle
but i’m not able
to actually rest enough
to better myself
in terms of healing
and caring
into full health
~~~
is anyone
actually good
at their own
rest???
~~~
the weather says it’ll be
hot hot hot
later today
but at this moment
with stillness and icing ankle
and inside and overnight lows
i’m closer to chilly than overheated
and much closer to shivering
than sweating
so how does the weather change fast enough
to fit all it fits
in one day?
April 22, 2023
i’m
so bad at bedrest
at resting
in general
at least i’m willing to nap
and sit quietly
as a thunderstorm
rolls on through
March 6, 2023
the problem with leaving
with vacationing
with taking a [much needed] break
is that your whole world
continues on
without you
i want a break
where i can rest up
relax
absolve my mind of all the thinking it does
calm my brain/body/soul until it’s reset
and pick back up from where i left off
but people still exist even when you aren’t around to see them
and systems still continue on in perpetuity
and seasons/entropy/growing/dying/
everything keeps going
even when you are
on your little
break
i just want time to stop
i just want a pause
or a reset button
or rewind
or something
to help my brain understand
what happened over the last 27+ years of my life
because the way i’m going right now
there’s no reason or rhyme or
timing that makes any
sense
and so i keep going
i do not rest
because i know any break i get
won’t actually do
what i need it to
so i keep going
and keep going
and keep going
and that can’t be very healthy
[but i see no other way]
January 20, 2023
i feel like
every atom of my body
has been dipped in molasses
and is just trying to do the best it can
in the given circumstances
but that best
is not the best
i’m used to
so i keep pushing
when maybe what i need to do
is rest?
(i sleep all the time.
i don’t do much.
but when was the last time
i rested
without guilt?)
(was it ever???)
October 9, 2022
there were only two things
i needed/wanted
to do today
and i did neither
(but that’s ok
because
breaks are important
and rest is necessary
and we did other
important
things
otherwise
and now
these tigers
are ready for
bed)
kipventures 