the day after a show
but so much happened
on top of it
a meeting
a surgery
an emergency allergy reaction
[not mine tho]
and i can hardly revel in the feeling of the show
[or
even berate myself for
not promoting it
more]
except for the moment
i stayed in the moment
afterwards
talking
with the lovely lovely people involved
i think they’re all so rad
and i’m so glad
i got to tell them so
what a perfect day
to stay at home
and do some sewing
or some reading and writing
and just chill
while the wind howls
and the rain pours
and the sky dumps all it has
upon our holiday house
pondering
teaching
directing
improvising
trying new things
[and not too new new things]
and still
maybe
sewing
and writing
and reading
and playing
and flying
and learning
and living
caught up in a book
in a way i haven’t been for a while
[at least not a physical book — we all know
how i feel about the locked tomb series in audiobook form]
but caught up in a way that
i can’t wait for my next subway ride
in a way that
i brought it upstairs before bed
and read
instead of dicking around on my phone
in a way that
i’m probably having nightmares about it
[it’s not that fun of a book,
but boy is it
engaging
like crazy]
so many books
on my reading list,
and each one
i’m so
so
excited
to crack open/
to get lost in the world/
to be absorbed by the story/
to learn facts and histories
and processes
that will make me rethink
just about everything/
to have a topic
to rehash with friends and spouses/
or bring up to folks
i think would love it —
and while i may be a faster reader
than a majority of american adults,
i’m slower than tortoise paced
when compared with
the human i live with/
who shares this house
full of stacks of books
for me to read/
and they’ve read them all
it seems/
so i’m trying not to get discouraged
as i watch the stack
grow
(for they show their love
by buying me
more and more and more
books)
but even with the tower
of my ‘to read’ pile
climbing much higher
than i am tall
(though, as a shorty,
that’s not hard at all)
i love books
so much so
that i can’t help
but still be
so
so so so
excited
to read them all
[eventually]
do you ever feel like
you just want to slough off your old skin
your old life
your old entire being
and start anew
in a new body
with a new brain
in a new situation
perhaps a whole new universe/
dimension/
something/
anything
i just feel
antsy
in this life
sometimes
(maybe that’s why
i am drawn towards
acting
reading
writing
the things we do
to imagine whole other lives
anew)
i’ve lost my mind
inside
a well aged mansion
on a first planet from the sun
filled with animate skeletons
and backstabbing
and mystery
and…
i haven’t lost myself in a story in so long
in a world like this one
i feel obsessive
obsessed
and like i want to compress the time between time with my headphones
making excuses to do chores
take walks
just so i can know what the heck is going on
and it feels refreshing
but also like i
wish i could write a story
this immersing
how am i supposed to write the most beautiful
heart-wrenching
new-fangled
captivating
epic
poetry
if i can’t even bring my eyes
to focus in enough
to read my own words
for longer than ten lines?
kipventures 