National
Coming
Out Day
a thing i did
so long long
long ago, and
still do to this
day
because, to be
in a heteronormative
cis-hierarchical society
means, if you don’t
conform fully, you
must explain yourself
constantly
constantly
constantly
nine years
married
a married-a-versary
[in this world we’re living in]
but
queer joy is resistance
and showing resilience
and we can do it
while also
using our privilege to help others
in our
community
Trans Day of
Visibility
Trans Day of
Being
Trans Day
of Moving
of Growing
of Expanding
of Transcending
all expectations
and irrational rules
that the rulers of our society
deem
“right” only by way of
following
and not questioning
and having our heads down
as lambs in line for slaughter
but our Black Sheep
our Trans Sheep
our Questioning
Querying
Queers
who force others to ask
“Why”
of those usurpers of power
when only faced with the fact of our Existence
and though that scares some into
violence,
Trans Day of
Power
reminds us that
Simply our State of Being is enough
to topple regimes that seem to have been around for ages
[but hundreds of years is nothing
in the grand scheme of our
Existence]
Trans Day of
Millennia
upon Millennia
of our History
Trans Day of
The People
Trans Day of
Reminding Ourselves that when we feel
attacked
and disempowered
and scared
we have All of our
Ancestors
behind us
Trans Day of
Visibility
today might be
a terrifying day
[especially in the u.s. of a.]
to be Visible
to be Trans
when we are the scapegoat
of all that seems to be
the system
breaking
but Trans Day of
Enlightenment
Trans Day
of Knowing
that every
Trans Day
of
Visibility
only makes our Magic
More Apparent
We Are
Sacred
and We Have Always Fought For
Everyone’s
Liberation
just write through
the pain and
the loss and
the lost feelings and
the sleepiness and
the exhaustion and
the boredom and
the mundanity and
the distractions and
the battles and
the fight and
when the fight leaves us
for an hour or a day or a year
or so
we can write ourselves
back into the fight
if it means enough to us
[and yes, it means enough
to me]
i’ve been legislated out of existence
[or so some people seem to hope]
but i still feel pretty damn real
so try something else,
you absolute
fools.
abandoned the Queer Liberation March
for our family
(but i think that’s what queer liberation means —
the choice to care for those around you,
for your family to be accepted and seen/
the queer love and joy (and pain and sorrow)
seen/ as equivalently normal
to straights
and cis’s)
so
while we no longer have the perfect track record
of only going to the Queer Liberation March
since moving to new york,
at least we retain our record
of never attending nyc corporate pride
(and that almost feels more apt
in this capitalistic grind consumerist colonizer society
of ours)
the last few Junes
i’ve been filled more
with Gay Wrath
than Gay Pride;
seeing into the system
that kills our
Black and Brown comrades
and lulls us white queers
into a false sense of security,
complicity
with a system that wants our cash
but never wants our voices
or change for our liberation,
viewing the systems:
the patriarchy,
the white supremacy,
the capitalistic [lack of] integrity,
and learning that
though i’m part of the system
i can do very, very little about it
individually.
this morning
June 1
the first day of pride
in the crazy year of
2022
i simply feel
tired
perhaps this is my
Gay Sloth month?
no, that doesn’t sound right.
Sloth implies a desired laziness
naps for pleasure
on-purpose leisure
(though i did read
somewhere
once
that sloth might have meant
not laziness
but depression–
the dread that goes into that
catatonic inability to get up in the morning–
that is the sloth i am all too familiar with…)
so perhaps this year
is the year
of Gay Sloth
of Gay Existential Crisis
Gay Over-It-All
i am still out and proud
and will give everything to help
others
feel that way too;
my rainbow hair can be your beacon
if you need one,
but rainbow capitalism has stopped
luring me
has stopped
infuriating me
and i guess i’m at the point where
my only reaction
is a big roll of my eyes
and a reminder
to actually research
Why
the first Pride was a Riot
Why
there should be no pigs at Pride
Why
marriage equality isn’t what we thought
(i’ll give you a hint:
it starts with disability rights
and ends at capitalism)
and Why
Why
Why
we do still need Pride
i know
why
we still need Pride.
Trans Day of Visibility.
i try to be so visible…
but my visibility often seems to negate my living experiences
(any time i wear the trans colors
i’m read as
only femme)
(and while i feel
not
the gender i was assigned at birth,
my taste often finds itself
aligning
with what my assigned gender
is ‘supposed to’ like)
(but i’m not just gay
as in happy
[though often i have this
demeanor]
i’m also queer
as in fuck the system,
as in i will always stand up for those with less power,
as in my entire identity will always be a political statement
because much of it is often politicized without my consent,
and i know of others with intersecting identities
on top of the identity[ies] we share
who will never be out of the line of fire from politicians
trying to gain power
over others)
so i’ll stand up
tall
(as my barely over five-foot-frame will let me)
and proud
of my trans identity,
my non-binary identity,
my queer-in-all-the-ways identity,
and tell everyone who will listen
‘yes, thank you for listening
to me,
an actual trans person,
but please
also listen
to those who fall under the binary umbrella
underneath the larger trans umbrella,
especially trans women,
and listen to those who fall under other marginalized identities,
listen to Black trans folks,
listen to Indigenous trans folks [Indigenous two-spirit people],
listen to trans people of color
listen to those folks of color with darker skin,
listen to trans people with disabilities
listen to trans people who aren’t neurotypical
listen to trans people who aren’t from your country,
listen to trans people who don’t look anything like you,
listen to trans folks who make you feel uncomfortable with your privilege
listen to trans folks who fight the system that was built to tear them down.
and honestly,
if you listen to those folks first
(which i encourage you to do)
and you have a lot of introspection to do
and you don’t have the time
or energy
or capacity
to listen to my words
afterwards,
i’d much prefer that.
listen to trans folks with less privilege than myself
expand your knowledge
first.
(maybe we’ll see each other in the metaphorical
‘audience’
and wave ‘hi!’)
i’ve been involved
in many a Pride:
marching in the parade,
spectating,
only coming for the afterparty,
staying late,
leaving early,
volunteering,
forgoing because of work,
forgoing because of travel,
forgoing because of emotions,
huge Prides,
tiny Prides,
side Prides,
marching,
listening,
shouting,
chanting…
i’ve been lucky
to learn
beforehand
what i needed to know
to appreciate
each message,
each Pride.
i was introduced
through friends,
chosen family,
strangers,
the internet,
leaders,
who really was Marsha P. Johnson,
and i listened to Sylvia Rivera call us all out,
i learned of the sit-ins,
and the die-ins,
Act-Up,
papier mâché,
the quilt,
what Leather Daddies
and Dykes on Bikes
gave to the communities,
Stormé DeLarverie,
and so many more
i’m still learning about,
and even more
still unnamed
still faceless
who gave me the right
to fight for others’ rights
today
and i hope we continue to march,
that instead of forgoing Pride for comfort
we forgo Pride for Queer Liberation,
or at least include Queer Liberation
inside our Pride.
that we continue to march
for Black lives,
for Trans lives
for Black Trans lives
for a free Palestine
for disability rights
for a Pride
that supports us all;
sans cops
sans rainbow capitalism
supporting what Pride originally stood for
(not because i want to go back,
but because we really cannot go forward
until we are all truly free.)
just remember, folx,
in this epoch of rainbow capitalism
that wearing your Pride is encouraging,
exciting,
exceptional,
try (if you can) to buy queer-made
so that our money funds our community,
and so that the big businesses know
they can’t obfuscate our memories
with shiny color spectrums;
we remember when they funded hate speech against us,
(and we know they have never formally apologized,
just realized they could take our money as well as our humanity
at the same damn time),
and we know the true meaning of Pride
is against the man
against the machine
against the culture of conformity.
our ancestors fought hard fights
for us to live out loud today.
let us honor their memories
by fucking with the system
that holds anyone down.
kipventures 