September 21, 2026

as much as i joke
that i hate people

i really do
do a lot of things
to help out
people

and care
so hard
about people

and my life’s purpose seems to be
helping people
healing people
slowly
one by one
conversation by conversation
just making people feel
listened-to
and heard

i hate when other people don’t do what i do
don’t really truly listen

but then, if they all did
i’d have no purpose in this world
would i?

~~~

[but there are too many people
in this world
to heal

and too much to heal
in one conversation

why can’t people just
be
kind?]

~~~

the older i get
the less i look for
fame
and my name
in lights
and other goals i had myself convinced
i needed to make my time
here on this planet
count

those were always a means to an end

the end being healing

the end being feeling listened to

and i can do that better one on one
than with a large fan-base
anyway

so kindness is what i look for
and what i hope to leave
on this planet

i really do intend to leave it
better than i found it

and if that means taking each person i meet
and making them feel
important to me

then that’s good because
they are.

March 6, 2022

the last
few weeks
we’ve gotten so little sleep
at night,

what with parties happening
two doors down,
or our dog
trying to lick away her own skin,
or the cat
being…a cat;

sleep has been
interrupted
at best
and non-existent
at worst

but last night
we may have slept through the night?
(or at least, had 3 or less wake-ups,
instead of our usual
10+)
and i feel
p rested
and my body
(and brain)
have no idea
how
to feel
[emotionally]
about that.

~~~

i wonder if i’ll ever feel
like
my poetry has a direction
a perspective
a purpose
a reason to keep writing and writing
other than my own
obsession
with
what the hell this life/world/brain is

but for now
i’ll just keep
writing
and writing
and writing and writing and writing
my damn-near gibberish-ness
and hope it sparks
*something*
in someone
in time.

~~

question
everything
answer
nothing
preserve
some things
and continue
on