happy birthday to this
scruffy
little
bundle of
joy
menacing
hassles
shedding
playfulness
whining
dozens of different barks
slightly uneven eyes
thumping tail
reverse mustache
ear fluff
too much intelligence for her own good
scratching and digging
and so much destruction
silliness
and sleepy belly time
love
healing
harmonizing
floopy ears
and genetically terrible knees
[and at only one year old
that’s just the tip of the
puppy iceberg]
Happy Birthday, Computer!!!
find sure footing
feel no floating
establish boundaries
no barriers
to your creativity
with only words
~~~
i did it
i performed
and this poem would be so much better
if i’d written it that
(or the next)
day
but i have to say
the feelings
of musical theatre magics
are starting to sneak up on me
again
(and i’m really unsure
how i feel about
that)
~~~
staying up
until midnight
to give the pup
the pill she needs
to not be in pain
all night long
but for me
for my mind
i probably should have been asleep hours ago…
poor injured puppy
(i didn’t even know dogs could get
ACL tears)
(i mean, that’s not technically the diagnosis
but that’s essentially what it is
when compared with
human injuries)
and it’s common
and it’s [most likely] not going to need surgery
(knock on wood)
but
it’s so tough seeing puppies in pain
and it’s so tough when we just had our old dog
do so many procedures and things
and we just want our puppy to be able to
have the zoomies
run around
be a puppy
but
she is stuck
in puppy jail
for her own
good
how do you
become at peace
with the fact
that you will never be doing enough?
i don’t know
but i think
that’s how to approach
anti-racism
anti-white-supremacy
anti-any-hate
in a sustainable way
(because otherwise
the sides of the coin
are performative
or overwhelmed catatonia
and neither
actually provide
results
or action)
~~~
there really is a comfort
to having a canine
use your leg
as a pillow
to prop up
their heavy heavy chin
~~~
when i pet my pets
the studies run through my head
of how this act helps the serotonin levels
in humans’ (and dogs’) brains
but i know my serotonin
or the transmitters that run it along
aren’t working at their full strength
so i often think to myself
“ok, here we go, serotonin, you can do it!!!”
just to help it
a bit
sometimes we need
store-bought chemicals
and sometimes we need
our own cheering squad
and sometimes we need
both
and that shouldn’t be looked down upon
the puppy
has lost
her ball
probably
under
the coffee
table
perhaps whining at us
and barking at it
will make its
return
hasten
(it worked
because
i’m
a pushover)
]
\[;’
;Po
[this poem is from the puppy
by way of her favorite
red tennis ball]
puppies up
Kips awake
cats a-hassling
a morning
a day
here in our
little haunted home
oh yeah!
i wrote
last night
creatively
script-ily
a whole scene
i can do it
i can write
(other than poetry)
but i sure can
still write
a whole bunch
of
poems
~~~
there are things
to do
today
and i’m actually
excited
to do them?
~~~
sad
puppy dog eyes
gazing up at me
as if i could protect her
from everything
i will try, Computer,
i will try
the puppy
plays with her ball
not a care in the world
meanwhile
the cat
cares deeply
about the food
that has yet to be
hand-delivered
to her
snickerdoodles
and pumpkin pecan coffee
and spooky tunes
and writing poems
all
for
breakfast
~~~
i know
that it’s not
the same
but seeing our tiny puppy
in pain
reminds me of the stories
parents tell
of seeing their children
hurt
or sick
for the first time
and how frustrating it feels
to be utterly helpless
to not be able to explain to your baby
‘this cough will pass
you just need to rest’
or
‘i can’t magically make you better
even though i give you
every other
necessity
needed
for life’
wanting to do everything
and being able to do nothing
and those eyes asking for the world
which you’d give
in an instant
if you
only
could
~~~
thank you
Louka
for the treats
with the natural pain relief
so this puppy could get excited
about them
instead of concentrating on
her hurt leg
and helping her
sleep
some pain
away
kipventures 