May 20, 2023

how can i remember
remembering
but can no longer remember
the actual thing?

~~~

it hurts my soul
to see our puppy so
sad and distressed
standing still in a cage

but it’s for her own good
and i wish
i wish
i could
explain to her in words
she’d comprehend:

‘just a few more days
and after, take it easy
and then, hopefully,
no more
puppy
prison’

~~~

how do people
craft poetry
instead of just letting
their guts fly free
internal thought process
and emotionality
all nakedly out
for any perusing
reading
eye to see?

May 15, 2023

speaking back to our dog
in words as she barks
whines
shrieks
because she
hurt her leg
*again*
(is this the fifth time? sixth? seventh that we are aware of?)
(definitely the third since surgery)
and the worst part of all this is,
to her little puppy brain,
having to stay still in a cage
while we are out, but within her sight—
caught in crate rest
unable to express her freedom;
how terribly cruel, she must think us,
for insisting she lay herself down
rather than hop up on two legs
(only one of which is at full health)—
and yet she continues to speak at us
in ways we don’t quite understand
(and least in an exact kind of way,)
but we know her intruder barks
her ‘there’s a cat there!’ barks
her ‘my toy is stuck somewhere i can’t reach’
and her ‘my best friend is outside without me!’
and this is definitely a ‘why can’t i just be myself
and roam rambunctiously free’ bark
but if she continues
to freak out
and only listen to her commands
for a few seconds at a time,
it will be puppy solitary
for the next little while
(which feels more cruel
but at least she stops
being a menace to her own
health)

May 8, 2023

the puppy groans with her yawns
and sighs before her head lays down
and i am delighted
and i just figured out why—-
the noises are far more human than dog
and they make me feel like, maybe,
just maybe,
she’ll learn how to talk next

April 11, 2023

the puppy wants so desperately
to play with the cat
that she’s taken the hisses and bats
and invitations
and copied those acts

so now
the cat defends
and the dog reacts with enthusiasm
that the cat is not anticipating
and defends harder
which the dog takes to mean
playing harder
until she gets so excited
she spins
and zoomies
herself
away

March 1, 2023

we are teaching our puppy
the names of all her toys
as well as the signs for them
(some official ASL
some a bit made up by us)

she knows her Pizza so well
and Ring
and Smile
and sometimes she can remember Monster, Bear, and Fidget Spinner,
we’re still working on Pumpkin, Triple, Scarecrow, Blanket, and Pie,
and wherever her Ball is, she knowns that one, too

the hope is to get her to fetch each toy
by name
by silent sign
to prove how smart of a dog she is

but so far, she has simply taught us
how much she loves that
squeaky Pizza.

February 18, 2023

the cat
has her zoomies
up and down the upstairs hall
back and forth
from bathroom to
under-the-bed

and we
(below the galloping stomps and stomping gallops)
ask

“is she having more zoomies than usual?”

“isn’t she a senior cat now?”

“is she maybe training to play with the puppy
once the puppy is all healed
and is allowed to play once more?”

i hope hope hope hope hope
the answer to that last question
is yes

February 12, 2023

a puppy
eating ice cream
and then the whole container

what a treat

~~~

sometimes i worry
that i’m wasting my writing talents
on publishing in a blog

but then i am reminded
of folks who may have thought
i wasted my acting talents
on community theatre

and who is wasting
and who is benefiting
in either of those situations?

is it simply
elitist?
classist?
or simply the whole vibe of white supremacist culture
to give some places
more standing
than others?

i suppose what i’m saying is
tho i wish more folks would read my words
and i saw more accolades and admissions of quality
(moreso for my own validation/vindication/curiosity)
i’ll continue to place it
here
for anyone to come across it
who may want or need it
(including me)

~~~

late night writing
(ok
again
not really that late)
toasty fireplace
cozy tea
coffee ready to be placed in the fridge
for tomorrow morning
when i’ll write all over again

January 28, 2023

i hate seeing our puppy
in pain
and distress

but it’s almost sadder to see her
happy
and jovial
and so very puppy-like
when we know we can’t let her
act on that energy
for another full month
lest she break something else

my goodness
this puppy