something that doesn’t get enough love
is how dogs show their love
through leans
the bearing of their weight
by the side of my leg
makes me feel like i
am supporting this whole dog’s
whole heart
whole mental health
by my lonesome
and she’s choosing it
[what a damn honor
to be a human
that a dog loves]
puppy snoofs
plant droops
kip shivers
first-appointment jitters
calmed by music and poetry
and coffee
the puppy is so whine-y
and hassle-y
and i think she just wants
to play with me
or have me
play with her
but i never know exactly what she wants
attention?
scritches?
a throwing of the ball?
to just have us not be staring at a screen?
[i mean, i’m writing this whole poem
with my eyes only on her
checking in every now and then
to make sure i’ve hit
the right button on my keyboard,
but she’s still whining
still hassling
still being
a silly little
waggity-tailed
puppy
with her gorgeous brown eyes
gazing up at me
and her little puppy barks
melting
my damn heart]
the morning poetry
still in the morning
still in the morning
as my father waters all his plants
and as the puppy gets into trouble
in the kitchen
the kitchen of my childhood
which only looks half like it did
in my childhood
and i have already scoped through the dozens
perhaps hundreds
of articles of clothing i still have in this house
to see if anything
still slaps
and now my father is done with the plants
and is playing with the puppy
like he had promised her
and i can see into the dining room
as they play
and play and play
and i think it’s
almost
as good as me bringing him
a grandchild
to play with
[maybe
maybe
maybe when our country
isn’t trying to literally kill
anyone who isn’t a
cis
straight
white
upper class
christian
man
maybe then
we’ll bring him one]
evening poems
while william shatner
tells me all the unexplained mysteries
i should care about
but i simply
don’t
~~~
big yawns
and split-up sleep
and hopefully getting
the cat to eat
or take her meds
at least
[almost done with this trip
and i’m so excited to sleep
in my own bed
once again]
~~~
but seeing people has been absolutely lovely —
i wouldn’t exchange that
for anything
[even eight uninterrupted hours]
the puppy boofs
“BROOOOURRRRGHHHHRRRRMNNNRRRR!!!”
and kip works on a magnum opus
of an op-1 song
made out of sillies from
dropout
make some noise
the squiggle show
josh ruben
and we wait for our bagels
patiently
and i write
sporadically
the puppy
croodling up next to her brand new toy —
a highland cow
with five squeakers
and a witch hat
and a vibe of playing
i’ve never seen her do
with any
other
toy
is it love?
is it play-acting her hunting instincts?
do we care that much?
no —
we just like to see her
happy
this poor poor puppy
from the street
to a home where
she tore both acl’s
needed surgeries
got nausea and scabs
and bumps all over
[not to mention at least one leg broken]
and finally, when she wasn’t the one giving us
veterinary grief
the cat goes and develops
hyperthyroidism
and irritable bowel disease
and then
as the cat calms down
from all her puking and med-strategizing
the puppy, once again, has a sore on her paw
which she licks and licks
and ends up in a cone
with antibiotics
and steroids
and somehow swollen ears
and we think we get all that under control
and here come the obsessive paw-licks again
i’m sorry, Computer, but you’re going to need to be
in a cone once more,
at least while we’re gone for the day
poor poor poor poor puppy.
birds
swooping down in
the rain
puppies
pawing at the floor
for attention
and the outside
and the inside
always have some parallels
but it’s the liminal spaces in-between
where i find my own comfort
our dog has become
the neediest little puppy
in this, her third year
and perhaps it is simply because
she is not doctor-ordered to
not
follow us upstairs
and jump in beds
and leap on laps
or perhaps she has gotten used to us
and what we will allow
and what we
won’t
but my goodness
the amount of barks for playtime
and dances for attention
and literal time spent in my lap
[yes, this 45-pound dog
sits in my lap
while i sit
on a dining room chair]
has most definitely increased
within this past
year
kipventures 