poetry blog

August 6, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

still on the high from the retreat

trying to connect with my own creative vibe
outside of all the wonderful folks
i got to know
over three long/short days

i think [my] lesson of the retreat is:
everyone has such different methods of storytelling
and modes of writing
and even within one person there are
worlds and citizens and characters and genres
and everyone listening is so, so supportive

i think i may be able to bring something
next year

[better start writing/planning
now!]

[and that is the first time that has felt exciting
and daunting
rather than daunting and a laborious struggle]

August 5, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

technology
impacts us all
in different ways

for some of us, the convenience is worth it
and we wouldn’t have the life we have
or the friends we’ve made
without it

for some of us, there has been more bad created than good
and the stress and hassle of all the social media
and expectations and designed obsolescence
it just makes us
furious

and then there are some of us
who would love to love technology
but technology just doesn’t love us —
we are always the one person in the system where
errors perpetually occur, or
those technological wonders we hear about just won’t work
when we’re in the room,
and the minute we touch an item
it is broken without
explanation

[you may think there must be a logical explanation
for this curse, but let me tell you, as the person with it,
with a spouse who works in computer technology as an engineer,
has seen it first hand, and whose mind was changed,
it absolutely is real]

August 4, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

perhaps

in order to avoid the trappings
of first-time writings

[the “mary sue” the self-insertion
the romanticized tragedy
the not-flawed-enough protagonists
and too-flawed antagonists
and cursorily researched science
and all things i’d judge or freeze stagnant
when viewing in my own writing]

i simply need to go after them,
on purpose even,

and indulge.

August 3, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

everything in my life
seems to be
on delayed reaction time —

processing traumatic events/
pain responses to any injury/
excitement and anxiety responses/
processing temperature changes in my body/
even my damn tarot cards seem
a little too far away from the reading
to the event they foretold
to be anything less than
delayed

[but, i suppose, that’s just how my body/soul
plays this little life game]

August 2, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

how quickly we get used to things —
lack of sleep
un-flavored coffee
living in the woods
being around people

and how quickly we end up missing it
when, inevitably, events end

what i’m trying to say is
i miss this retreat
already

August 1, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i often forget
that the sounds of the birds
can be my morning page music
and the crickets and wind and rain
can replace my podcasts

i no longer use perpetual sound
to block out my own inner voice

[that sounds like some kind of growth]

but i think i have now found myself using any auditory distractions
as literal distractions
from boredom

and i do wish i was more on board
being bored
for creativity’s sake

July 31, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

there’s something i know about myself
that others may not

it’s that i can always find a bright side
as long as i’m sharing the story with
someone else

got lost on a path i didn’t know well?
i got the opportunity to see bunnies and deer and one cat and two horses
and enjoy nature in a way i haven’t since
i grew up in middle of nowhere ohio

stumbled upon some uneven ground?
i am reminding myself of my rural roots
clambering over rocks and holes and
hopefully not twisting my ankle
like when i was an awkward teen

didn’t sleep well the first night of a retreat?
honestly, i’m getting back to my roots once more
adolescence
and early adulthood
and never sleeping more than an hour at a time
and waking up to see what’s happening online
[just as slow then as my service is here]

and while my younger years were not a piece of cake
by any means
and i wouldn’t want to relive them fully

getting the opportunity to rehash them with a
stronger body
and more calmed mind
surrounded by other artists…

kind of a quiet dream.

July 30, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

having the resources
to act out,

but not to actually achieve
the help that you need.

having the words to express
exactly what you need,

but still no resources
that actually
help.

society has progressed
somewhat,
but not to the extent that
everyone, everyone needs/deserves/requires.

it is [is it] a viscous cycle

July 28, 2025

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sharing
is caring

but sometimes sharing doesn’t come
up right away, and needs years of
establishing trust and instincts and
rapport and a shared understanding of the world

sometimes sharing
needs to come after miles and miles of other
sharing

sometimes sharing doesn’t happen until
you’ve been married nearly
ten years