poetry blog

March 29, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i keep so many things
stuck
huddled up
on the outside

hidden
on my sleeve

i think part of this reprieve
helps everyone but me

[how do i know what’s going on
in my own mind
if i can never find
the emotions and thoughts there?]

or

or

or

am i so disconnected
[head to heart to body]
that it seems like everything is external to me?

and if somehow
some way
i could simply connect
myself
to myself
i might see
all the emotions and thoughts
i thought i had hidden away
externally

they’ve all been part of me
this
whole
damn
time

[maybe]

March 28, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i say gay
in relation to everything
not in the way i grew up with it
as a synonym for “stupid” for “gross” for “bad”
but as a loving reaction
meaning
“awww!”
meaning
“love”
meaning
“i’m part of this in group and i adore it so much”
meaning
“odd and weird, and i am so proud of being odd and weird myself”
meaning
“yep, that’s true”
meaning
“well, now it’s almost mundane,
but that’s better than it ever was
in early 2000’s high school name-calling”
meaning
“i’ve embraced it so much, we’ve come out the other side
and once again, we’re calling everything
gay
but with rainbows and goodness and love this time!”

March 27, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

or needn’t poetry have a point?

we’re all just bumbling through
in these systems we’ve created

everything is made up
and maybe
that’s why i create

[because i’m not allowed to make whole new systems
so i make words fit my needs
rather than
the other way around]

[or something]

March 26, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

how do any of us ride out this life?

there’s so much we could do
so much we do
so much i’ve done
but i constantly feel like
i’ve missed the boat on
so many things
everything

i don’t know how to get everything out of life
that i want to get out of it
so i’m just kinda
enjoying the ride at this point
admitting this isn’t how i thought it would go
but my adventures have been so
adventurous
and i do
love that

[maybe that is how you live life]

March 24, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

lion boy
little lion boy
come tell me your tale
and all your friends’ tails’ tales
translate
and translate your translator too
and talk to computers
and everything you
ever imagined possible

it’ll all work out in the end

[and who knew
chameleons could give predators
such a surprise and a
talking-to]

March 22, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’m not getting out what i want to get out
this morning

[but the problem with having
a writing practice
of trying to get things out
in the morning
is that sometimes
you’re only half awake
and half aware
of the things that actually need to be stated/written/gotten
out

so sometimes you just have to write
about the fact that the writing
just isn’t doing it this morning
and hope that makes something come out]

March 21, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

there is a blue lagoon offset from the sea
that calls to me
that calls to my ancestry

but we gave up fins and tails
and gills and frills
long ago
so very long ago

so i dip my two separate legs inside
and lean my bony back beside
and look at the storm clouds racing
and i think about the oceans rising and rising
and whether i can take back a deal made centuries ago

was my great great great great great great great grandmother a fool
or did she know something then
i can’t possibly know
now
[just as now i am so highly aware
of things she’d never even dream of]

but all i can do
until i meet someone who
can exchange this blessing-turned-curse
is sit and lie and dip and swim and wish
beside this blue lagoon
separate but still somehow part of the ocean

[how can i bring myself back to that part of me
or will i always remain so
separately]