it’s been a week
a week of anxiety and depression
a week of stress and relaxation
a week of guilt
a week of d&d and coffee
a week of overthinking and underfeeling
a week of underpreparing
in the hopes that
today
is much chiller
than last week
could have been
[i hope i did ok/
i hope i do good]
[performance this evening, 6:15pm eastern: http://tonyc.nyc/streampfp ]
the focus
is fucked
today
question all the answers given,
and answer everything that’s asked of you
by a child —
even if your answer is
“i don’t know”
that’s better than lying
or saying “just ‘cuz it’s so”
we need more critical thinkers;
we need more people to grow and go up against
the powers that be
because the powers that be
are just being
rich
and i don’t believe that benefits
anyone
but themselves.
[and we’ve needed something new
for a long long while now]
maybe
one upon a time
i was happy
i was healed
i was a child without trauma
but now
i gotta
know it
own it
be it
and maybe work towards
getting back to the child we all
once were
[but why
can i not
think of children
without thinking of
every
single
child
killed by israel]
[i really can’t think of anything anymore
without finding a parallel
to the tragedy
in Palestine]
am i in a bad mood?
am i just trying to get down
and dirty
into the business
of morning poetry?
am i tired and sleepy and hungry and fatigued
with the terrorism happening in the middle east/
the horrors and atrocities
committed by our international “allies”
with our “support”/
and the fact that it feels like
no one
in power
is standing up to anyone at all?
[and the brainwashing is such that
some can look at lives lost
and feel nothing
nothing
nothing
at all]
i wish
my mind were filled
with brasshouse tunes, instead of
the self-deprecating
barely-humor
closer-to-hatred
perfectionism
that it usually is
filled with
it’s going to be
A Day
today,
that much i can say —
it may be a long one/
a tough one/
an exhausting one/
a weird one/
a sad one/
a silly one/
a random one/
an unexpected one/
a listless one/
but i can already tell
it is going to be
A Day.
everything feels like it
may
or may not
happen
even my first sip of coffee
was delayed
even the snow itself
seemed fake
until it came
it was actually fairly nice
yesterday —
working on a big poem
between rest
and embroidery
and silly television feeds
to make us feel
not quite 100% of the sadness we feel
daily —
there is something to be said for
working hard
on something,
and i did that,
i can do that.
[maybe i am an adult after all]
be your own
woodland
fairy
princex
kipventures 