February 5, 2026

perhaps we’re living on the edge

perhaps the space age is actually coming
and the future will be so much brighter
than this tragic darkness we’re currently enduring
and our art will be the stuff of legends
of how we got out from under
fascist strong arms
and authoritarian ties
and everything will turn out
alright
in the end

i’m hopeful
but not expectful
because i know how these “governments” work
and we are facing a long
long
long
long
long trek ahead
[even a flashy fast apocalypse
would be welcomed more
than this slow descending trend
towards the end]

but as much as i see each moment
as if it’ll be viewed in history
i do not have the foresight of the future
i cannot know exactly what direction we’re taking
until it’s already been
taken

so i’ll simply say this:

continue fighting
whether the end is in sight
or not — perhaps your words will inspire
the next artist
to write

and on and on we inspire
and write
and fight

until the light actually
comes blazing
through.

February 4, 2026

systems
flow
in and out
up and down
powerful
and powerless

and in the grand scheme of things
it can all seem like a game

[maybe that’s why gods are so often portrayed
as being so fickle
because they can’t feel the day to day
gravity
of reality
for each
individual
mortal]

[how was i blessed with the scope of an omniscient being
with the reality
of day to day
living
and suffering
surviving
and dying
and rather than putting my perspectives to good use
i am simply
ground to a
halt

frozen
in fear of
reality
and knowing
my own life and impact
is but a fraction
of nothing
in the grand scheme of the universe]

if only i
were a god

if only
there were
a god

February 3, 2026

seeing what i
do not want to see
and still seeing it
and still seeing it
and still
seeing
everything i’m trying to avoid
because i know
if i blind myself to all
bad
and suffering
and hardships
i’ll become
callous
and uncaring
and un-me

but there is a balance

there is a balance

there is always a way to live in compassion
but keep some compassion
for the self

[i just haven’t figured out my
own unique balance
yet]

February 1, 2026

it blows into february
the air of awful anticipation on its wing
the cold burning even colder
than january’s sting
at least there’s snow
from the first month’s storm
whitening the ground
providing [minimal] distraction
from second month’s
curse

January 31, 2026

two panic attacks
[or something like them]
in one month
after years of fair avoidance

i cannot tell if something is
going on
inside me

or if it simply the strain
of the external forces
of the world i cannot control
[but still affects us all]

or maybe
maybe
it’s the strain of january
of winter
when i can never see the light of spring
at the end of the proverbial
tunnel

just give me one crocus blossom
one sprig of green
not these mountains of slush-snow
and lows below zero overnight
i need something
something
something to keep me going

this has been the longest january i’ve seen
since wisconsin

January 30, 2026

what a crazy day
was today
was this morning;
waking up at 4
to get out the door before 5
to arrive deep into new jersey just after 6
so kip could be in delaware for a meeting by 8-ish
and i could get home
and get a nap
and be mildly ready for a day
at some point
just to have kip leave delaware at noon
be in a car then on a train around 2
and get back to me just before 3
to get home
take the dog out
and crash and burn
because
even with naps
and exercise
and relatively chill commutes,
the change in sleep schedule really really really
took it out of us
and we were dead to the world
by 6:30pm
[but didn’t want to go to bed
for fear of freaking out our bodies’ rhythms
a second evening in a row
so
just go to bed around 9
and be asleep by 10
and maybe the 6:00 alarm
will come in handy
on tomorrow’s saturday
morning

January 29, 2026

concept
for including more art in our rooms
and hiding the amount of
stuff
that just sits
on shelves
that we may or may not use
[but we definitely may have
some use for
at any given point]

hinged
framed
images

[paintings/printings/photos/mixed media/
anything we already have our hands on
sitting in storage
waiting for wall space we do not have —
it could all go up on our
bazillions of bookshelves
as long as the width is wide enough]

[and then we’ll have little doors
to the secret world of
craft supplies,
made of
art

how lovely!]

January 28, 2026

give me
a day
a semester
a scuba suit
a deep dive
an encounter with those aliens we call
octopus
[octopuses/octopi/octopodes
all are correct pluralisations
of this creature i’m mildly
absolutely
obsessed with]

i just want to see them
meet them
study them
understand them
observe them
have them
know
me

it’s a draw far stronger than anything in my life
has ever been
outside of an artistic endeavor

[but, hey, take a look at these magnificent beings
and tell me they aren’t, themselves,
art]

January 27, 2026

when lying on your deathbed
with your last breath
you can’t take it with you —
power accrued
wealth amassed
bodies stylized
any of that

what stays with you is
love
and
your acceptance of self

i’ve seen the love in a room
carry a soul
to whatever comes next

and i know when i die
i may have some small regrets
but you’ll never find me regretting
the person i’ve become

so what
is the point
of what so much of humanity
has

done?