poem

January 4, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’m ecstatic
i’m scared
i’m electrified
i’m anxious
i’m invigorated
i’m apprehensive
i’m defensive
i’m meditative
i’m happy?
[maybe?]
i’m existential
i’m whatever
i’m apoplectic
i’m in shock
i’m winding down
i’m revving up
i’m lost
i’m found
i’m starting now
i’ve gone through so much
i want
i want
i need
i yearn
i spin yarn after yarn after yarn
but i never seem to learn
that it’s all part of the human condition —
there isn’t one affliction or emotion
better or worse than the others
when you look at one whole life lived
[and you’re not even near the end
as far as makes sense — why are you always
wrapping up your life in your head
to make the ending
an end
rather than a beginning
of a new era]

[you do you,
but also,
there’s more left of you
than you seem to act like
you
have
left]

January 2, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

Computer has officially
exited her shark era;
turning a solid three-years-old,
she is no longer a puppy who will bite
everything she can get her teefies on.
so we celebrated by having a long walk
in her shark halloween costume,
playing in the park
with her best dog friend,
and getting an ice cream
and a new shark toy
once home again.
and she celebrated the way she does
every other day —
by being the happiest,
most tail-waggedy,
puppiest puppy
we’ve ever seen.

[even if the shark era has ended, i believe
the puppy era will continue on
forever]

December 31, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

nothing like reading
other people’s poems
to make me feel like
a fraud

a fake poet made out of
three tiny actors
in a trenchcoat

a fake poet made of
a whole slew of fake mustaches
attached to fake noses
and prescriptionless plastic glasses

a fake poet made of
a whole buncha prose
lined up
in shorter
stanzas

a fake poet made out of
experiences
pondered

[but maybe
that’s all a
poet needs to be]

December 30, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the poetry is stilted
today

usually, if i get distracted
i catch myself staring off into space
for minutes
before i look back at my
half-finished poem

and then i take a moment to figure out
if i can reasonably get back into it
or not

but there is a moment
between realizing i’ve lost my concentration
and trying to get it back
that i know so well

and i keep having that moment
that feeling
without the minutes of staring off into nothingness

like my brain has decided it cannot concentrate
on even one poem this morning
and instead i must shatter my attention
into a million tiny bits
and hopefully i can repair them
into something resembling
a poem

December 27, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

sweaters and sweatshirts
we forget about for
nearly a solid year
and then
once the actual day of christmas
is over
we find all our festive apparel
so we don it
in this liminal time
between christmas hype
and new year’s hangover
and try to continue into january
but it always feels
odd
and forced

and then, it’ll get lost in the backs of
closets
and cupboards
and dressers
once again

[how are we so predictable?]

December 26, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

for a second
for a moment
for the briefest of instances
the highest tones were all i could hear
from the jackhammer working
a few blocks away
and i thought
for that tiny amount of time
that someone was continuing the holiday spirit
into boxing day
and jangling jingle bells
as hard as they could

[new york sounds are a symphony]