February 3, 2025

i’m constantly trying to think of ways
to make my words have more impact
more gravity
more pull

but as i fill my evenings with silly improv shows
that truly make me feel like these casts are all my friends
and gives me some kind of hope
for an artistic future
in this damn country
i wonder…

have i been disregarding the power of funny
of goofy
of comedy to make us “forget” about the world
for a few seconds —
just enough to have the energy
to get back to
the fight
that needs to be fought?

can i write both heart-wrenching
powerful
fists in the air
i’m angry and motivated and i care
kind of poetry
as
well
as
the goofy kind that gives us all the energy
to fight that good fight?
to right the kinds of wrongs
that need to be overturned?
am i just a little clown
here in the world to show
that humor
and compassion
CAN
coexist?

[is that why i’m still alive?]

February 2, 2025

deciding
deciding
deciding between
connection and
mental health and
why is it that there’s no
solid line between the two
and they’re interspersed
with fascism in this land
and those who want to fight
also have to use the damn
master’s tools
as it stands
why can’t we
just burn it all
down

and start with something new built on
compassion?

January 31, 2025

everything feels like sci fi these days

whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day

or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us

or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]

and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears

it really does feel
like sci fi
around here

January 30, 2025

video game music
and pondering strange dreams
and trying to hold the countdown
to the hour after next
still
so i can have some more chill morning time
with my kip before they need to leave
again [this time into the city]
and i need to go upstairs
and talk about my
~feelings~

[ugh]

January 29, 2025

i’ve been tracking my sneezes
since the start of the year

it’s a very very very silly
new year’s resolution
but damn am i invested

interestingly
i usually sneeze at least once
every day

but some things can up the count
like being sick [only one day impacted]
or adding abundant amounts of jerk seasoning
to my dinner of rice
[only one extra sneeze added]

otherwise, it seems to be
randomness

some days two sneezes instead of one
some days zero sneezes at all
and one bizarre seven-sneeze day
out of nowhere

but this is only after
28 days of data collection

let’s check back after
at least a full
month…