the sinus pressure
building behind my eyes
feels fizzy
like a soda pop
lightly shaken
just waiting
to gently explode
poem
March 15, 2026
hold your breath
count to ten
and count to ten
again
breathing reminds you
you’re still alive
though you’ve spent your whole life
dying
to die
compose yourself
expose your insides
for art
for payment
for friendship
for funzies
for a dare
to anyone out there
who may feel the same way
[though it’s so lonely
in one’s own mind
it’s impossible to imagine
finding company]
wander around
while catatonic to the ground
and know
it’s all in your head
[which is somehow supposed to make it
easier]
[what do they know]
March 14, 2026
pretend
you have
nothing
pretend
you have
everything
now which one
would you
spend time in
[i honestly think
the nothingness
creates even more imagination
from it
and i would maybe
enjoy it
immensely]
March 13, 2026
it’s chilly again
this morning
we had our peek into what
the rest of next season will look like
i could even feel my mood
shifting
upwards
and now it’s cold once more
the dreary, winter sky
the brisk winter air
that slices your face if you don’t cover yourself well
and the hopelessness that accompanies it all
[i wish i could enjoy
anything
about winter
but my soul was made for
anything
but]
March 12, 2026
poetry-writing
poetry-thinking
poetry-mulling and pondering and shirking
duties to home and work
in order to write and ponder and mull and think
and write some more
i really do need to
see if anyone else would ever
want to read these silly poems
where do i even start to look
when i don’t have a social media
in which to peruse
and obsess
and screenshot
and never ever ever apply to?
March 11, 2026
loom
lurk
live, laugh, lobotomy
the dark humor of
the millennials who can say
“tumblr raised me”
or maybe we raised tumblr
it’s always hard when the similarities
squeeze logic
from the picture
[i’m rambling
i’ve lost the thread
of this poem]
high ho
a pirates/actors/writers/millennials life for me
March 10, 2026
my own imagination
is a fickle, fickle place
sometimes a comfort
sometimes an anxiety-ridden nightmare
full of all the fuel i put into it
over years and decades of
self-hatred
and self-loathing
and self-harming
and imploding
and all i thought i’d want to accomplish
and all i still want to do
but am frozen to
the spot when i try to try
maybe
as with the imagination
i just need to keep on
gently
trying
and exploring
till i find a neat little [abandoned] space
and sit inside it
for a while
March 9, 2026
imagination
figments fleeting by
a socked foot slipping past the corner of your eye
an echo of your own voice, continuing on and on and on
and the raptured words of someone you don’t even know
swimming in your
mind
~~~
i suppose i’m doing
exactly
what he invited me to do
[which is pretty cool]
~~~
if i can’t explore
abandoned buildings near me
i can at least explore
the abandoned ruins
of my mind
March 8, 2026
the rapture didn’t come like how we’d been taught
we thought
standing around
perhaps asleep
perhaps in prayer
we’d
just be levitated from our bodies
up
and up
and up to heaven
instantaneous
immediate
immaculate
but the rapture took so damn long
trekking from old homes to new ones
each more dilapidated
less clean
than the last
there was very little sleep
and even less prayer
towards the end
crossing borders
swept into vans
when least expected
[i suppose at least that one
was instantaneous
and immediate]
[but the insides of those vans
could hardly be called
immaculate]
and now here i am
being told that this final step
is the real rapture
but haven’t i been told that
for each step of the way
i’m starting to stray from my faith
and this tiny cup of gross-smelling liquid
barely coated by some sickly sweet scent
over top of it…
i thought the rapture was something that would happen to me
but it looks like i happen to it
i control it
but maybe
just maybe
i’m sick of all this rapturing
maybe i wanna try my luck, after all this time, with the heathens
March 7, 2026
i’d love for this
to actually be the
fuck-it era
i’m entering
as i’m feeling
it might be
right
now
i hope it is
i hope it is
i hope it is
[because i’m so sick of feeling so
scared
all the damn time]