it’s wild
the nighttime writing
so different from the morning
but still so much the same
poem
July 7, 2023
i’d kindly lay myself aside
for a pup or cat or Kip
but the hardest thing i had to learn
was that my survival is their wish
July 6, 2023
course-correcting
my sail needs some attention
there are holes and rips and i can’t seem to get the tail-wind right
and i don’t know anything about sailing
so i don’t know if i’m getting this analogy at all accurate
but i do feel
like a little sailboat
in the midst of a great ocean
trying to catch a breeze
but the winds of executive function
keep blowing right through me
July 5, 2023
the interesting thing
about this way of writing
poetry
(and prose, i suppose)
is that flowing from the fingertips
is actually the most apt analogy—
i don’t sit here
pondering each line
especially coming up with each
rhyme
instead i’m writing
and writing
and typing as the words come to me
sometimes before even
i have any sort of language inside my mind
but the words keep flowing/
like little rivers from brain/
to my hands/
crafting a poem
a story
a something
and not knowing if it’s good or not
but at least
knowing
that it
flows
July 4, 2023
watch out
i’m moody
i’m grumpy
i want to wear all black
mourn the death of this nation
that was never that great to begin with
but conceptually it had some nice ideas…
…is that the human condition?
everything looks pretty good on paper
but the moment it comes to actively
executing the ideas laid out
everything, everything, falls apart?
July 3, 2023
i have so much more i want to say
but my brain won’t focus itself in a way
that i can parse through
what i’ve said yet
and not
so i suppose i’ll wait until tomorrow
(or maybe just until this day
is through)
and try again.
July 2, 2023
social events
breed
social anxiety
(and somehow there are people
who need this?!?!)
July 1, 2023
night writing
no longer the default
no longer the place at
which i’ll
stop
and ponder
and get stuck in the mud of my mentally ill mind
come find me in the sun
come find me in the morning
come find me when the day has just begun
because night writing
is no longer
my home
June 30, 2023
no creative energy
no inspirational flow
no way to know
if this is how it is today
or if i just need to let my imagination
go
~~~
so
i suppose
i’ll write
~~~
a glitch
in the system
a ghost
in my computer
a little spark of the unknown
is everywhere
around us
June 29, 2023
why do i,
an arachnophobic,
daydream
of a precious little jumping spider buddy?