do i really
truly
actually
need someone to tell me what to do with my life?
[especially because, when told, i struggle being beholden to other people
and end up resisting every step of the way]
why does my brain make no sense to me?
poem a day
May 28, 2024
if only i ever found a time
when i thought my mind was organized
but as it stands
and as it be
the organization of my mind is cacophony
May 27, 2024
i am struggling this morning
and that’s ok
that’s ok
that’s ok
i don’t need to churn out perfect poems
and mind-bending perspectives
each and every day
one poem to post
simplistic and chill
as these other ideas percolate
for another morning poem time
and i can let myself be imperfect
i can let myself be imperfect
i can let myself be imperfect
i can.
May 26, 2024
outside
writing morning poetry
in the afternoon
listening to the sweet melodies
of trains and planes and crows above me
and the puppy pacing to keep up with everything that needs investigating
i do kind of wish we would have spent more time outside
before the weather turned from mildly warm
to HOT
and this isn’t even the hottest it’ll be
not even close
but
we’ll deal with the sweat
and embrace the sun
[or hide underneath the sail of shade]
and let the puppy play with us
and keep the cat
well hidden
inside
from afternoon
outside time
May 25, 2024
sometimes i hide inside myself
feeling like my feelings are infiltrators
unwelcome guests that i can block
out
like as long as i don’t think about a thing
there’s no possible way it can affect me
and the effects won’t come effecting
until i open my door and let them in
invite them to come, when i’m more levelheaded
and can see emotions from a more logical standpoint
but i should know better
about all of
that.
May 24, 2024
didn’t really write yesterday
today is seeming to be starting the same way
do i need an excuse to put this all away
or do i need to allow myself to delve
deeper
in these morning poems
than i have been doing
recently?
May 23, 2024
why isn’t the poetry giving me the same excited vibe
it has been for three plus years?
do i need time
away?
or will this feeling pass
anyway?
May 22, 2024
still half asleep
still half deep in the
vibe that was yesterdays time
trying and trying to be, once again
a person who leaves their home now and then
but the sleep got me good
as i hope sometimes it would
and i know i really should
do something, anything to actually wake
but i have to say
this sleepy way
is kinda great
the vibes are
nap
rather than
panic attack
and that’s nice.
May 21, 2024
accidentally realizing
[through morning page poetry]
that i’ve tried to package my life
my feelings
my emotions
my experience
my existence
into a narrative structure
with themes and things
all tied up in a nice bow of a simple story
for other people’s consumption
just to yell at myself
that my life is mine to experience, no one else’s;
whether or not i’m enjoying my life, no one else
should get to consume it until i’m
actually gone.
i don’t need to make myself digestible
especially when i’m not even in a
‘public eye’ of any kind right now
why
did i/do i
do this to myself?
[i just want to experience something
without worrying what others will
think, looking back, as if i’m some
kind of historical figure — is that
too much to ask of my own psyche???]
May 20, 2024
i’m already well past 300 words
and i’ve gotten such good work out
for me
but not for anybody
else
maybe i should start taking old poems
and redoing them/
adjusting and rewriting
for use in a book of some kind?
i’ve now written
more than one poem every single day
for over three years now
officially 1,134 days
according to this calculator i just found
on the interwebs
let’s calculate a bit more:
i know i usually write at least three poems —
though sometimes there’s a lot more/
but sometimes i’ve skipped days to come back later
and use an unpublished poem from a previous writing session —
let’s just say it averages out to three a day
[i know this will be a low estimate]
that makes, at least 3,402 poems
[probably closer to 6,000 if we’re being honest]
[i wonder if it would be worth it
to go back and actually count
how many poems happened each day]
[that would be wild
to say
the least]
and all of this look back/calculation has helped none of the
‘i have no poem to post today’
issue…
i suppose i could post this word soup,
give the internet the knowledge
that while i post one to three poems daily
on that site, the need to write
is overwhelming sometimes,
and sometimes i just gotta write and write and write
and i guess i’ve written somewhere between 3 and 6 thousand poems
[honestly probably even more]
since i started this experiment
in april of 2021
[also, i thought it would be an
experiment that would last me a year
and here
i am…]
kipventures 