what if
my april fools prank
was convincing anyone who tries any april fools nonsense
that april fools no longer exists
[believable, by way of executive order]
what if
my april fools prank
was convincing anyone who tries any april fools nonsense
that april fools no longer exists
[believable, by way of executive order]
Trans Day of
Visibility
Trans Day of
Being
Trans Day
of Moving
of Growing
of Expanding
of Transcending
all expectations
and irrational rules
that the rulers of our society
deem
“right” only by way of
following
and not questioning
and having our heads down
as lambs in line for slaughter
but our Black Sheep
our Trans Sheep
our Questioning
Querying
Queers
who force others to ask
“Why”
of those usurpers of power
when only faced with the fact of our Existence
and though that scares some into
violence,
Trans Day of
Power
reminds us that
Simply our State of Being is enough
to topple regimes that seem to have been around for ages
[but hundreds of years is nothing
in the grand scheme of our
Existence]
Trans Day of
Millennia
upon Millennia
of our History
Trans Day of
The People
Trans Day of
Reminding Ourselves that when we feel
attacked
and disempowered
and scared
we have All of our
Ancestors
behind us
Trans Day of
Visibility
today might be
a terrifying day
[especially in the u.s. of a.]
to be Visible
to be Trans
when we are the scapegoat
of all that seems to be
the system
breaking
but Trans Day of
Enlightenment
Trans Day
of Knowing
that every
Trans Day
of
Visibility
only makes our Magic
More Apparent
We Are
Sacred
and We Have Always Fought For
Everyone’s
Liberation
the post-show let-down
is holding me in its grip
as i grasp for a way
out
i feel as though
every thing
in my life could use a little
clean up
pick up
organization
my laptop, with its
struggle to continue on in life/
my phone, with its
constant warning of running out of storage space/
my house, with its
clutter damn near everywhere
and i don’t even know if i can find official places
for everything/
my head, with its
chaotic way of remembering everything unimportant
and forgetting damn near everything important
unless it’s told to me at least twice
what would even help
at this point?
what will Pride be like this year
with our government in shambles
and all the blame for
everything
placed on the shoulders of those
who pioneered the struggle and marches
that today’s parades are based on
will rainbow capitalism
make an appearance
or are we simply
closer to Sylvia and Marsha P’s era
than we ever have been
before?
[and will that help
in community-building
and getting back
to what Pride
actually means?]
welcome, me,
i say to myself, out loud
because i can’t seem to
get on my own side
without making it a show
for someone
else
[that feels like an important lesson to have sink in]
i don’t know what i’m waiting for
but i’m waiting
i’m waiting
in photography, i have no problem
taking tens
of hundreds
of thousands of photos
knowing that somewhere in there,
there will be a great picture —
gorgeous
experimental
framed well
captured beautifully
and composition, exquisite
and even in poetry, mornings of multitudes,
all my poems
multiple
every morning, i know
not every poem will be great
but somewhere in here
there may be something
to write home about
then why oh why do i shy away from
the writing of prose/novels/
or plays?
as if i need my first try to be
so great
otherwise i should just
give
up
?
is it simply that it takes so much longer to write
longer form, than it does to slap dash down a poem
or capture a second or few
in a non-moving image?
so the effort to output
ratio feels more
[risky]
[or am i so scared of something more/or less scary?]
don’t let fear
run your life
or even tell you
how you’re failing —
the fear is there
yes
but you’re doing the things
anyway
on top of the fear
the fear doesn’t define you
it’s the doing it even while scared
that does
and that is badass
make up for something you’ve done,
a sin or just
a blunder,
and see how long it takes
for you to forgive yourself
vs
how long it takes
for others
to even realize
you’ve done
wrong.
i’m unsure the point i’m trying to make with this poem,
but i think it has something to do with
our own perceptions of our own
moralities —
and while i’d rather my friends live
guilt-free lives,
i’d also rather have as friends
those who make sure to
do right by those they’ve wronged
well past when we’ve forgotten,
than those who think their morality
is beyond
reproach