what is it about the smells
of places
from your past
that puts you
both at ease
and on edge
within one whiff?
poem a day
May 24, 2022
even though we’re not
‘doing’
much in this visit,
simply spending time
is filling my days
and my heart
[happy birthday, Homer Daddy Dude!]
May 23, 2022
what is it about
lying next to a cat
that lulls me to sleep
faster
than just forcing myself to bed?
~~~
at least
being in my childhood bedroom
and gazing upon my
most-loved books
has reminded me that
it’s not just in adulthood
that i’ve found comfort in the
already known storyline
and re-consuming media
over and over and over again
(certain copies
of certain books
can attest to the fact that
i consumed them
over
and over
and over again
before i even hit puberty)
~~~
the internet
in this house
is struggling
almost as much as my sinuses
are fighting
to do their job well
(could the dust be blocking the wifi
like it’s blocking my nose???)
May 22, 2022
writing too fast
typing too slow
thinking too much
portrait of the overtired poet on a plane
May 21, 2022
trying not to write poetry
for the blog
and only for me
makes my writing
come to life
in a way
i want to
immediately
show off
(perhaps
that’s the key
to every success)
May 20, 2022
i wonder if poets of yore
ever practiced writing
with mundane daily tasks.
i know they wrote of the very human
feeling of falling in love,
but were there ever any poems of
getting a bit of poppyseed stuck in their teeth,
or that feeling of falling right when you’re about to
lose consciousness to go to asleep?
there were poems with storms as metaphors,
analogies,
but were there ever poems where storms were simply storms
and they enjoyed in the moment,
and wrote in the after
of feeling the thunder
shake
and quake
the whole house?
i feel as though my poetry hits a spot
that hasn’t necessarily been hit
that hard
yet;
the mundanity of human existence.
and i can’t be the first person
to put prose emotions into poetry,
but i do wonder if the greats
of late
or long
ago
ever did what i’m doing
it just wasn’t as accepted
or expected
then.
May 19, 2022
how come
the rain
sometimes
lulls me into a deep, deep sleep
and sometimes
keeps me up for hours on end?
i would just like a little consistency
May 18, 2022
staring at your phone
won’t make your boredom alleviate,
but i do it anyway.
procrastinating your projects
won’t make them arrive any slower,
but guess what i do.
stress dreaming about choreography,
about packing and school long since freed,
or any sort of event approaching at gathering speed,
doesn’t seem to help in the least,
but that’s what my subconscious thinks will help me.
~~~
i can sometimes feel the stress
in my forehead
when i’m contemplating life,
or doom-scrolling through each app
that brings me no joy, only sorrow,
and when i feel
my muscles tightened,
and my eyebrows furrowed,
and my body edging towards taking on
on a tenseness i haven’t felt since college,
i try to relax that part of my face
where the stress enters.
and sometimes it does help
(and sometimes it does not)
~~~
i make lists,
but sometimes i wonder if
i’d be a more mellow human
were i to simply
not.
May 17, 2022
one thing i had forgotten
until i started staring at pictures
from the first few months with Louka
was a word i experienced for the first time
when helping guide her out of her scared dog shell:
Rewarding.
i remember telling folks:
“i never knew what this word meant,
until i spent six months coaxing the first tail wag
out of her”
“i don’t use this term lightly,
but rescuing
and helping a dog grow..
there’s no other word for it.”
“i always thought this was a dumb concept,
but i understand now
when i look at her
loving eyes”
the heart-full feeling
that i was feeling
when saying
“it’s so rewarding”
catches in my throat
and stutters with tears,
both grateful and grieving,
now that she’s gone…
helping Louka was rewarding,
but Louka herself
was such an amazing reward;
i know i’ll never forget that.
May 16, 2022
here’s the thing:
i’ve been stuck for weeks,
more than a month,
and i cannot tell
if it’s depression rearing its ugly head,
or exhaustion with the state of things in the world,
or a normal human reaction to the sadnesses that have befallen
me/us
as of late
i can’t tell if my disinterest
in my chosen profession
is an actual drifting away,
or a lack of momentum needed
for this particular drive,
or that damn depression once more
and, like i used to beg and plea
for the universe to send me
some sort of sign that
the choices i was making
were ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for my life,
i wish to all goodness that
i could simply know
which it was
(but here’s the other thing:
i bet it’s a bit
of everything,
and that nothing
is as black and white as i see it,
and there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in my life,
because my choices are mine
and my own to deal with,
so every decision splits a universe apart from mine
but is there one
where i’m
happy?
all/
or at least most/
of the time???)
kipventures 