the connections
i make
at night
when the mind has been
working hard all day
and scrambling to make sense
of a world that just
doesn’t—
those are some of the smartest
clearest
most profound connections
i’ve made—
and i always rely on
the morning
to write them
—
but by then
they’re gone
poem a day
July 22, 2022
i felt so motivated yesterday
(and the day before that)
and i know i did some of the things
on the to-do list,
but i did much less than
i originally
expected
and i need to be ok with that
i need to be ok with that
i need to remind myself that
i need to be ok with that
because otherwise
i’m just capitalism’s
newest victim
and fuck capitalism
~~~
fly
spy
in the sky
i wonder why
you need to fly
around our home and spy
on us
~~~
this
cotton
candy
coffee
is the silliest thing i’ve ever tasted
and it just makes me
smile
smile
smile
~~~
how do i absorb
the lessons i’ve learned
in trying to help others?
i.e. the advice i’ve given,
can i/will i ever
take it myself?
is there ever
a magical wand for
turning kindness inward?
~~~
the poems today
aren’t turning out great,
but they’re not bad, either,
they’re just there
and that’s all they need to be
at this moment
in
time
~~~
do you ever feel
so tired
and yet so hyped up
that you feel like
if you followed your energy
you’d vibrate until
your skin just kind of
shucked itself off of your bones?
…nah, me neither
July 21, 2022
listening to lovely music
(modern classical, in case you’re interested)
chatting with my Kip over coffee
about workers and wages
and contemporary conveniences
and whether ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ rhetoric
came out of union slander
or not
a regular morning in this
household
July 20, 2022
the temperature
is supposed to get
all the way up to
97 degrees
i’ll be spending some time
in manhattan
so it’ll probably feel like
107 at least.
and in the subway system,
underground,
waiting for the train,
oof, maybe 137
but once i’m on the train,
the a/c blasting
will make me shiver
like it’s the middle of winter
(unless, of course, the air conditioning is broken
in whichever particular train car
i happen to enter)
(and i have to decide
on clothing
to fit all those
scenarios…)
(summer in the city is no joke)
July 19, 2022
the two kips
unfocused
in two different ways
someone help someone write something
(sometimes you just need to fumble over words
at each other
making the other person laugh
before you come up with the
perfect plan
and go back to writing
immédiatement)
July 18, 2022
i can write
homage
after
ode
after
poem
to my favorite weather event
but it remains just that
‘a weather event’
but i view thunderstorms
as something so much more—
when i was 12 or so,
somewhere around the time
you still believe in magic
but are old enough to know
you shouldn’t,
i held a conversation with a thunderstorm
and i feel like it was one of the last moments
i truly suspended
my disbelief.
i went in knowing it probably wasn’t real
but i decided
that for the duration of the thunderstorm
every boom
was an answer
to a question
and i’d know in my heart
what that answer meant.
and i sat on my porch
and held conference
with the storm
for the entirety
of its travel
over us
and i’ll never forget
that thunderstorm
(and with what little i understand
about weather
it seems entirely plausible to me
that every thunderstorm
is the same thunderstorm
coming back to check on
the one child
who ever showed interest
in its
dreams
and
nightmares.)
and that
is just one reason
out of multitudes
of why
i love thunderstorms
so much.
July 17, 2022
honestly?
ceiling fans
freak me out;
why are they called blades
when the spin so fast?
July 16, 2022
my brain
is not retaining
a track this
morning
and i’m worrying
and resting
all at
once
but the flow
comes and goes
and i have no way to
figure out what
is happening
and where
it is
go–
ing
July 15, 2022
writing
when not in the mood
is both
like pulling teeth
and like a sudden
surprise
meditation
surprise!
July 14, 2022
oh no
the feels
where are they coming from?
my therapy was great
giving myself permission
to feel as others in my industry feel
but i guess i didn’t expect it to happen
the very next day
so what do i do?
—feel the feelings—
—breathe through it—
—don’t expect an ending—
—don’t expect anything—
—just feel—
—cry if you need to—
—feel—
—your—
—feelings—
(you are allowed)
(i am allowed)
(i am allowed)
kipventures 