poem a day

January 18, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

seeing the swarm sully the skies
grackle cries
another super-group
giant roost
all of them
re-creating that film The Birds
(which i’ve never seen, but i know there’s a giant swarm
of silken-black birds
and there they were
ripe for the simile)
so close we could hear their wings flap
so close we could see their heads shine blue
so close the dog assumed she could grab one or two
so close they felt ominous
but also magnificent
what an honor
to be greeted this day
by the only time the grackles fly together
wintertime
and look for grub
in our messy
yard

go ahead and hop up and down the path
you’re sweeping the leaves for us;
thanks!

January 17, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

if we are to attack with metaphor
with analogy
with any sort of literary
device at our side
what would my depression be?

a shadow?

sounds too cliché
too perfect
but hear me out:

it’s always there
just sometimes i can’t see it
from my particular angle
and different environments
make it a different type
of shadow:
large and looming/
grounded and serene and looking just like me/
a tiny pool of darkness at my feet/
or not at all there
(but change one light
one type
of something
anything
in the room/place
and there it is again
and the question of
‘did it really leave
or was it just laying
in wait?’
and i’m unsure if we’re speaking
within the explanation or reality
within the metaphor or truly
just talking about my relationship
with my ever-constant frenemy
depression)

so if that darkness
is a shadow
what is my constant worry
of anxiety
what new analogy
could i find
for thee?

January 16, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

it’s already halfway through
the month of january
and though that makes me
a little worried/
gives me
a little bit of stress/
i also find myself
a little relieved—
‘only halfway through’
is the mantra in my mind
‘still so much time
for so many things to do’
things with due dates
obviously
set the level of anxiety
within me
but other things
general goals
tries
resolutions
if you want to call them that
they have so much
so much
so much of the month/season/year left

so let’s do them

January 15, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

Happy National Bagel Day!
one of my top three things to eat
the only one of those three i have
nearly every day
(now that we live in New York at least)
bread
boiled and baked
toasted ever so slightly
just to let the cream cheese slide over it
and warm the mouth as i bite
everything seasoning everywhere
a small price to pay for the deliciousness
of poppyseeds, sesame, garlic, onion, and salt
filling my tastebuds with joy.
hot and fluffy
crisp and cakey
sweet or savory
my favorite item at a bakery
i have to stop myself actively
from having it for every meal
bagels
so damn good
every day should be
National Bagel Day
but i’ll take today in stride
and order a baker’s dozen
(as we do most Sundays)
but today i’ll do it
with massive pride!

January 13, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

am i digging
writing
this morning

pressure
from me
to me
keeps playing

at least i have
a coffee nearby
and a bagel
soon to be in my belly
and a dog and a spouse and a cat in this house
all by my side
(emotionally at least)

don’t get caught up in the minutia
the tiny details
the what if these have all been said before
the before of writing
when you haven’t even put pen to paper
or finger to keyboard
when you worry what you have to say
isn’t good enough
or big enough
or beautiful enough
or you aren’t any of these things either
just write

January 12, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

if i write
what i always needed
as a child
what might that be?

because i was pretty satisfied
when i was that age
of the grand adventures
and imaginative natures
of many of the stories
with heroes who looked
a lot like
me

but what i need now
is to have noticed i needed then
a mix between girl and boy/
that any harsh division
is unnecessary/
and that i don’t/didn’t need to carry
the weight of an entire gender
on my young shoulders.

should i write
a protagonist
who thinks that?

or would they simply come off
as
your early 2000’s Mary Sue
(and since when has that stopped
any aging white boy
from doing
pretty much
exactly that?)

January 10, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

capitalism
ruining even the most productive
of mornings

~~~

frustrated
distracted
hungry
but not yet ready

what a morning

~~~

banal tasks
take
less mental energy
but
when a sudden need
for that focus arrives
it’s quite jarring

January 9, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i am far away from my native lands
both in space
and in time

but i am native to the Earth
and i do have a land that raised me
that moulded me
as i trudged and trotted along
creeks
and fields
and farms
and forests
paying little to no attention
to human intervention
but instead lost in my own imagination
speaking for two, three, five, ten at a time
plays and stories and series in my mind
and the dirt never betrayed me
and the insects never bit more than i could handle
and the animals provided distraction
when i hit an imaginary interpersonal problem
and everything i saw/heard/touched/tasted/smelled
informed my curiosity
and invited me back
day
after
week
after
month
after
season
after
year

i wish i could go back today
but i don’t know how it’s changed
and i’m scared of feeling betrayed
by my own damn species
(or having it seem exactly the same,
and overwhelmed by how much
i’ve changed)

but

i’ve taken on this land
as my new home
and learning as i am
about kinship and the land and more-than-human persons
i’d like to care for this portion of the Earth
as the Earth
once cared
for me