poem a day

February 25, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’m not in the mood
to poetize
today

maybe i will be
later
but now

i’d rather be cleaning
picking up the tiny little things
that make this table less clutter-y,
i’d rather be sweeping
vacuuming
bringing down indoor fences
so our puppy can romp around the downstairs
without the temptation of the couch
just yet,
i’d rather be chatting with my spouse/
beading random accessories/
eating/drinking/getting the day started/
watching the puppy
destroy all our craft supplies/
i’d rather be doing anything
but poem-writing
and yet
here i am:
faithful and firm/
stubborn and steadfast,
i made a vow/
committed to a challenge,
and i’m nothing if not
consistent
[ish]

February 23, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the cat is exploring
the downstairs
once more

the first time(s)
since the puppy arrived

she’s finally comfortable enough
to be in the same floor level
as the spastic young dog

but only because
the dog is
all crated up

what will happen with the puppy has free reign
of the downstairs
again?

February 22, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

[im]perfection
plagues my mind
i strive for it
though i know it’s
unattainable

i try to rewire
rewrite
the narrative
the choice
to choose imperfection
but the core of me whispers
‘what if you’re just not trying hard enough
and you
and only you
are the one person who could do it
perfectly
and you’re just proving how much of a failure you are
by choosing
not to
try’

and i am stuck
in this cycle
never-ending
that only ends in
failure
failure
failure

a failing
of
me

February 21, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the concept of community scares me

and i know the ancestors of this land
would balk
at that self-assessment

but i bet white supremacy would smile

feeling/being only beholden to oneself
makes for
either
one great bootstraps story
or
one of many that the upper-crust doesn’t have to deal with
other than as
stepping stones

but i was born and raised in this society
that values individuality above all else
and insists that, even within social standing
that place is precarious at best
(imagine entire books/movies/tv episodes
about a whole friend group
turning against you
for no reason other than
they can)
so to be solidly a part of a posse
you should be the one holding
all the power

that isn’t sustainable
that isn’t healthy
that isn’t the way humanity should be

but

i’ve lived it

multiple times

so please, caretakers of turtle island
i feel whispering in my flailing mind
from time to time,
forgive me as i resist the concept of community
and rely on only myself
and my spouse
for literally everything–
i’m only doing what i was taught
for the first 30 or so years of my life
and experienced from others
taught the same way…

my heart is vulnerable
but quite willing
to learn

February 20, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’m pretty great
at
poetry of the mundane
(if i can give myself that credit)
but i’ve been edging towards
a more gruesome poetry
as of late

poetry of the gross daily tasks
the icky parts of being human
the scattered co-morbids of mental illness
the ones with strange satisfactions

and i don’t want to subject readers to such poems
as odes to pimple popping
and detailed descriptions of how my anxiety makes me
pick my skin to bleeding
but
they are part of my human experience
so maybe
they are also a part
of yours
?

February 19, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the focus
of today
is failing

whether i write one hundred words
or one
i can’t seem to keep them all in line
with one another

i’m not one to give up
but i am known for knowing
when i’m fighting a losing battle
and maybe it’s simply time
to give myself
a [day’s]
break

February 18, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the cat
has her zoomies
up and down the upstairs hall
back and forth
from bathroom to
under-the-bed

and we
(below the galloping stomps and stomping gallops)
ask

“is she having more zoomies than usual?”

“isn’t she a senior cat now?”

“is she maybe training to play with the puppy
once the puppy is all healed
and is allowed to play once more?”

i hope hope hope hope hope
the answer to that last question
is yes

February 17, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

wake
myself up
with poetry

widen my eyes
with words

pump my veins
with phrases
of soft rhymes
and alliterations

and pick up the pace
of morning
with stanzas of
longing

and beauty

wake
myself up
with poetry