performing

October 17, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

damn
this performance just
snuck
right
up

i suppose it makes sense
what with
everything
else
going
on

but

i get to perform

i get to back-up dance

i get to watch my friends perform

and i get to co-host

[which is technically not an entirely new thing
for me, but the last time it happened was like
over ten years ago now, and i have almost no
memory of it, so it feels brand spanking new]

if you are near purchase, new york, why not stop on by
[tickets are free!]

https://www.ticketleap.events/tickets/queeryus/out-and-proud-a-ndod-celebration

May 16, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

performing

anxiety
anticipation
excitement
fear

hope

acting

for better or worse
it was my first training
it was my most training
it is the time that i feel the most myself
on stage
even with the
anxiety
and fear
there is always still
anticipation
to excitement
to hope

[if you’ll be in nyc
tomorrow, may 17th,
come on out!]

January 19, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

my focus is
all over the place
wandering from
poetry
to internet-ing
to excitement for performing
to worry about the weather
to anticipation of the possibilities of my own
silly
videos
to apprehension of the upcoming
~event~
of tomorrow…

and i have no conclusion to this poem
for my focus can’t stay on one thing long enough
for such luxuries as
a nice
~ending~

July 22, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the nerves
of all this past week
seem to melt away like butter
the morning of the show
just because
i’m so tired
and achey
and sleepy
and in pain
that i don’t even have the capacity
to feel much
of anything else

…hooray?

December 31, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

a dreary
rainy
new year’s eve

no big celebration
but maybe that’s what we need

to look at the past
and get excited for the future
and chill in the house with crafts and puzzles

writing reviews
picking poetry
performing
later

as long as i’m with my Kip
i’m happy

[though i’d be extra enthused
if next year we continued
our old tradition
of out-of-the-country travel
for the holiday times]

so long, 2022

[come see me bid farewell to the year with some poetry of my own via Zoom at 7pm Eastern:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-years-eve-they-them-mayhem-tickets-419529813967 ]

December 24, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

find sure footing
feel no floating
establish boundaries
no barriers
to your creativity

with only words

~~~

i did it
i performed
and this poem would be so much better
if i’d written it that
(or the next)
day

but i have to say
the feelings
of musical theatre magics
are starting to sneak up on me
again

(and i’m really unsure
how i feel about
that)

~~~

staying up
until midnight
to give the pup
the pill she needs
to not be in pain
all night long
but for me
for my mind
i probably should have been asleep hours ago…

December 4, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

how
can i constantly feel
like a novice
in all i do?

i’ve performed all my life,
but i still feel second/
third/
fourth/fifth/sixth/
end of the line
when it comes to opportunities
for the stage/screen arts.

i’ve had six plus years in the air,
but i’m a perpetual student
here.

i’ve written
every
single
morning
poetry
for over a year and a half,
but i’m still too scared to submit,
to hear the possibility
that i’ll forever be
amateur;
living only for the love of words,
never ‘going anywhere’ with it.

and what’s so bad about that?

capitalism/colonialism/white supremacy
forces our minds to find some meaning
out of what we can produce/expert the field
in a way that makes money—
churn out content/
content/
you need to create more content…

where is the place for creating for the sake of creativity?

and why can’t i find my own balance?

i think
it’s because
i just want to feel
like i know
something.
i want to feel adept/
professional/
expert/
master/
ace/
like i don’t have to second guess every choice i make—

that’s what i want out of my crafts.