November 18, 2021

the stress
and hassle
of planning for a family visit
is made all the more complex
in this time of COVID.

we [the family] are all vaccinated,
but half of us work
(or have worked)
in healthcare
so we know,
we know.

so is it worth
the 8+ hour drive
with dog?
is it worth traveling
(however carefully)
through some places with
less than stellar rates?
is it worth
even going
if we have a cold?
(every illness now is
a moment of pause
even if we know it isn’t
a coronavirus)

and with the family
not all that enthused anyway
should we again,
like last year
say next year?
[next year]
[next year]

August 31, 2021

summers
have always been
Magical
for me

as a child
wandering around lands i probably shouldn’t have been wandering around
sneaking past “no trespassing” signs
set against hunters’ blinds
(but no one was ever there when i was there;
November is the time for guns,
June, July, August the time for fairies in human form),
skirting around soy bean farms
before ‘soy’ was even a word in my vocabulary
(‘fuzzy beans,’ i used to call them),
crossing tiny creeks
jumping or wading
watching waterbugs skitter past
breathing in the hot air
staying mostly under trees
to avoid the [inevitable] tomato red sunburn
sometimes with friends
but most of the time with myself
speaking stories out loud
creating both sides of dialogue on the tip of my own one tongue
the endless tales of magic
and friendship
and exploration
my companions
for whole summers.

as an adult, most summers have come and gone
but there have been
two
that have held even more magic:

at twenty-two
i was dumped
one month shy of a five-year anniversary
and my personality had become contingent
on hers
and the April breakup,
the steady flow of May tears
somehow passed into a
June/July/August
of friendship and finding myself
truly feeling my emotions for the first time since i was
seventeen
(perhaps even farther back, because of, you know, the trauma;
perhaps feeling emotions fully for the first time since i was
eleven),
and i felt the good and the
bad
the joy and the
sorrow
the bitterness and the
love.
and i found that friendship didn’t need to stay braced on the one side of
platonic
and i found that i could be myself, silly, joyful, tearful, and loud
and sociable
in a way i’d never felt before
(always having been on the outside,
the observer,
the child alone in the field talking to themselves making up worlds and adventures…)
there was a magic in that summer
i don’t think i could accurately name,
a friendship, a late adolescence, a very slight hedonism, but a care for self and others,
that was my first adult magic summer
(The Summer Of No Egrets)

at twenty-seven
(plus 3)
my spouse and i moved to the city that never sleeps,
and after celebrating my twenty-seventh birthday for the fifth time
we looked forward to getting settled over the winter
and truly getting to know the city in the spring.
and then a global pandemic happened.
time stood damn near still
most people home, waiting
two weeks turned into four, which turned into another month, then another
until we were ‘working from home’ ‘indefinitely.’
and as an actor
one who works gig by gig,
long, spacious times between each production
(zoom replacing stages,
closets full of sweaters replacing in-person sound booths),
i had plenty of time to watch the tides from our living room,
cheer at 7 for those putting their lives on the line to keep the city as healthy as possible,
and one day, after an endless string of Black men (and women, and children, and trans women and trans men and nonbinary folks…) being
killed
murdered
by the hands of those who white america thinks are here for
“protection,”
the nation broke,
the city
erupted.
i was aware as far as national news,
but a contingent marched past our building
and i felt foolish for not having been among them,
so i did my research,
and joined in marches,
across downtown Brooklyn,
where healthcare workers stood outside their workplaces
and cheered for us, on the front lines, trying to make the city
safer
than originally thought possible,
blocking traffic in Manhattan,
listening to folks of color
tell me tales,
speak words that
i knew logically,
but hadn’t thought of
emotionally.
and a full scale revolution erupted.
i watched as those in power were given
full riot gear
as we peacefully chanted to the sky
“i don’t see no riots here.”
taking knees,
holding space,
coming in white
staying in silence,
listening
and listening
and listening
and watching
and observing
and protecting
and seeing how a world could be better
the magic of that summer,
of a whole damn city coming together
to say that Black Lives do matter
and they matter
to us
every day
for an entire summer…
and while i wasn’t able to be out there every day,
i still felt the magic
that there was more than just me,
i was one amongst many;
the full power wasn’t in my face,
but mine as one in a sea of faces
so many you could no longer pick out just one
and everyone was invigorated
and everyone was excited
and everyone was yelling/chanting/singing in their hearts
and i was able to see
what community looks like.
the magic
of what community looks like.

i don’t have a good ending
for this poem.
but i think,
upon some months of reflection
after the initial fingertips to keyboard keys
musings of these magics
one idea stands out a little farther than the others:
it’s the people.

the magic of my childhood summers was based
[primarily]
in isolation,
the feeling of needing a break
from the ever loud and sociable days of school
forced by law to be there
day after day after day after day after day,
and that break was necessary.

but the magic of my adulthood summers
is based absolutely entirely
in community
in coming together
in observing and living
the ideal of what togetherness means

(and maybe my childhood summers weren’t about isolation at all,
but instead creating the community i needed,
that i hand’t found yet
in my mind…)

but please, as we get back to a reality
that is about to endure the difficult (for me) transition
From August to September,
from summer to fall,
remember that people are important
and the magic is in
togetherness,
and find your community in
whatever way and place suits you best,
and donate some money or time
to a Black-led organization
today.

August 18, 2021

it is approximately
one month shy
of the one and a half year mark
of Kip
going into work
physically.

and i’m getting all nervous
about them going into work
physically today,
though their work is vaccine only,
and mask encouraged,
and Kip told me they’d probably keep their mask on all day long,
but i’m still all nervous

maybe it’s because i’ve been the one to actually go outside
in this Global Patrick Stewart;
i’ve gone grocery shopping
and picked up prescriptions
and had doctors’ appointments
and circus classes
and marches
and protests
and Kip has accompanied me on a couple adventures,
a protest here,
a vacation there
(a vacation where
we still only stayed inside our airbnb the whole time)
so i’ve been out on my own
and Kip has not
and they are a grown adult
and used to make this trip
into physical work
every
work
day
arriving between 8 and 9
leaving between 5 and 9 (depending on after-work activities)
and they learned the streets of manhattan
around their work
and maybe i’m just nervous
that they will once again
have a life apart from our tiny Brooklyn living box
but i also want them to have their own experiences
so we can come together at the end of the day
and share our stories
together.

i have no need for them to only have a life as i can see it,
similarly, i enjoy their encouragement of my
circus classes
and acting classes
and film projects
and artistic endeavors,
but i’m still all nervous…

(i wonder if this is how they’ve felt every time i went in
physically
to an aerial space
over this last year or so…)

~~~

i know
it’s possible
to hold in one’s heart
the gratitude
that one has personally
dodged a bullet
as well as the support
and solidarity
of those who experienced it entirely

but i can’t seem to convince my physical form
that this is, indeed, a thing that can happen.

~~~

my creativity
is still part of me
even when i’m not actively
making up worlds
and writing new words
and surpassing my own expectations.

my creativity
never leaves
just sometimes
it might need
a bit of a
nap.

August 11, 2021

a few years ago
during a holiday visit with Kip’s aunt and grandmother
i offhandedly stated (while looking at the various projects and things around the room)
that, as a person who sews, i should have probably gotten into embroidery and cross-stitching
a long long time ago,
but i’d never even tried.
and there was a flurry of limbs, fabrics, and plastic bags
and out popped a cute little cross-stitch kit,
complete with thread, tiny beads, directions, and two extra pairs of small scissors, just in case.

and that started me on a new fabric arts journey
cross-stitch gave way to small embroidery projects,
which gave way to large embroidery projects,
still within kits
(bought by my gifts-as-love-language spouse for nearly every gift-giving occasion)
and i started to memorize the stitch names
experiment a little bit with colors and paths and techniques

and then there was a global pandemic
and everyone needed to stay at home
and everyone needed to find something to do while they were staying at home
and a ton of people got into the fiber arts

and i got…
contrary.

i knew it would happen.
i could feel it in my bones.
as more and more people started falling in love with this art i’d been falling for,
i could feel myself protective of it,
i could feel myself resistant to posting about it,
for fear folks might think i just got into it for lack of something better to do.
rather than be joyous about more and more people seeing the benefit of this older art,
i just got petty

and i tried and tried and tried to tell myself not to,
and i tried and tried and tried to enjoy folks who found it as a life-saver during this global trauma,
but i just
couldn’t.

but i also knew i’d come back
i knew it wouldn’t last
(my distain for newbies,
my silly gatekeeping),
so i simply stopped my project
and began to enjoy different arts,
i poem-ed
and painted
and film-edited,
and i did not share any opinions online
because there’s enough negativity on there [here] to last several billion lifetimes,
and because i knew it would fade
and i would be left with an even stronger community,
or simply with even more people’s projects to look at
while bored online

and of course, i did
(and with an even freer sense to experiment a little
when following the directions felt stale)
and i love looking at people’s projects from the depths of the pandemic,
and i now know this fact about myself even better:
i will be contrary at first,
but i won’t try to keep that gate closed
for very long.

July 25, 2021

for so long
i was the kind of person
who woke up every morning
and stretched for fifteen minutes.

i think i needed it, at that time,
so much loss and change and variability,
and i had a goal and i achieved it;
within the year (maybe within six months)
i could:
touch my toes,
drop into full splits,
left, right, and center,
and i could arch my back
backwards
and touch the floor on the other side.

and yes, i was younger
and limberer
(though i certainly didn’t feel that way
when i started)

but after high school,
i entered college
with roommates
and depression
and a year away
and figuring out my life
and another college
and too many classes/assignments/rehearsals
to fit in 24 hours,
and the diligence
of stretching every morning
slipped away…

and then meeting my to-be spouse
and graduation
living/moving around the midwest
Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Madison,
eventually ending up in our own home
and still i didn’t have a morning routine
akin to that which helped me through high school
nothing for my body
nothing for my mind
nothing for my soul
(but i was fulfilled, body, mind, and soul, in other ways;
discovering circus,
meeting my people,
having my kip with me through it all).

and when we moved to New York,
the spouse and i created a new tradition,
a new morning routine,
to make our lives a little more centered
as we entered our busy days.

and that habit ebbed and flowed,
adjusting for our own needs,
adjusting for the start of a global pandemic,
adjusting for the stressors and fears that accompany
life
in a ‘new normal’
kind of situation,
and we’ve been at this
morning pages
for a year and a half now,
and the poetry version
i’ve kept going
for a little over
one hundred days

and this has been paramount
to my emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health,
i’ve felt more connected to my own thoughts
(or awareness that i’m not)
for the first time since i was a small child

but my body still begs for consistency
and my muscle flexibility
hasn’t been touched in weeks
and there’s no habit i have that helps…

but that’s how i started
a decade and a half ago,
a feeling of need,
of desire,
of a goal i wanted to accomplish,
and i set my mind to do it
so i did.

and i know it won’t be as quick
(and i have more knowledge now
of all bodies and their different needs)
so maybe
now
i can find a time
an activity
a physically centering habit
to help me as we adjust
for new changes,
healthier spaces,
and connect body/mind/spirit
in one.

June 16, 2021

i went into a Barnes and Noble yesterday
and, as a friend stated,
it was unnaturally normal.

the stacks were all stacked,
sales, clean shelves, bright lights,
like they had just shut down regularly one night
and opened the next day with everyone wearing masks.

and i bought too many books
(potentially to make up for my spouse not being there;
our usual date night: book shopping)
and we still had our membership active
(as if the last year and a half on pause hadn’t even happened)

June 15, 2021 (part 2)

the normalcy
is throwing me
eating under an umbrella at a bar/grill,
pushing strollers through outdoor malls,
playing on communal playgrounds…

don’t misunderstand me,
i am fully vaccinated,
and i am aware of how the virus spreads
and the evidence of safety in small outdoor gatherings,
and i am beyond grateful for how things have worked out
and that i finally get to hug my friends tight
(touch being my romantic and platonic love language)

but i’ve lived a year and a half in unknowns
(we all have)
of trying to be as careful as possible and then some
knowing not everyone “believes” in this clearly observable fact,
this virus killing thousands (and leaving more with irreversible repercussions)
so i am used to being overly cautious
and this exploration into ‘normal’

…i am absolutely waiting for the other shoe to drop.

June 7, 2021

my Fauci Ouchie
(parts one and two)
were (side-effect-ly) uneventful.

my kip’s, however,
were sore arm
and fever-reactive
(part one and part two
respectively)

and i wonder what my immune system
does
is
to make it so strong
(how for every cold/flu/illness
kip gets
i get half of them,
and even then
at half the intensity)

but at least
we are both doing our
due diligence
to not get this terrible,
horrible,
no good,
dirty,
bad
virus
that is still
technically
at loose.

May 31, 2021

did some things
yesterday
this morning
just now
will continue to do things
as the day goes by
(a nice thing about holidays
when you’re still placing caution
from The Virus™
before familial or friendship
hangouts)
and the accomplishments
of cleaning
and organizing
can breathe new life
into this small box
and make it
more like
home.

May 24, 2021

it’s my father’s b-day
the 60th time he’s celebrated
and i cannot be with him
due to this damn virus
(and our government’s inability to smartly control it)
(and our society’s allergy to listening to intelligence)
and i don’t remember how i felt last year…
how did we cope at being stuck inside
unable to visit those we wanted to connect with
unable to say Happy Birth[day] in person
(even though most birthdays were done long-distance
there was something to be said
about having the
option…
i always assumed i’d create a huge celebration for my dad’s 60th
but now, i suppose, i gotta wait till his 61st
(which i’m actually looking forward to,
as he was born in ’61)
but still
i wish i could be there
but it’s ok that i’m not
it’s ok that i’m not
it’s ok that i can’t)