June 16, 2024

maybe don’t concentrate on morning pages
[though it is still morning
and we are on break now
officially now]

horrendous
i don’t know where i’m going
horrendous
i don’t know what i’m doing
horrendous
anyone expecting expectations from humans
when humanity is doing
this

June 6, 2024

here we go
into the flow
of a habit
we’re tracking
and i’m tricking myself
[or at least it feels like it]
into feeling like i can actually
write more poetry
when i don’t have a creative bone in my body
[again, all perceptions
from the realm of the brain]
and i can’t even think of something i’d like to address
because everything feels overwhelming
to the point where i’m just beating myself up about
not doing anything
as i can feel the trauma of the whole situation
bearing down
and bearing through
what little defenses i had up
i had going
and i’m too hungry to think of good rhymes
and i’m too tired to conenct any of the lines
from here to there
from Palestine to liberation
but i know it’s here
somewhere
i know it’s there
and through it all we can liberate
the Congo and Sudan and Haiti
and everywhere else people look like me — in that i have two eyes
and a nose
and a mouth that smiles
and a heart that feels
and ears that love to hear stories
and the human condition is so much more
and so much less
than we make it out to be

the human condition is being human
here
on this planet

please
let’s not
lose it.

April 3, 2024

casting the blank ballot
was frightening
and liberating
and a little guilt-i-fying

though i’d never do it for the actual presidential election
and i don’t know how much it’ll change anything
i did it
i did it
i did it
for the people
of Palestine

[now let’s go do
more]

March 3, 2024

the skies opened up and cried for Palestine
as we stood and listened and walked and chanted
and we can’t give up until all of us are free
no we can’t let go until we are all free

February 21, 2024

is it true?
that hearts synchronize in beat beat beating rhythms
when sitting in an audience
of a performance

i agree —
i want so badly to believe —
and it probably comes from some sort of truth
[there’s that study of church vs live musical performance
and how they give the same
spiritually
significant
feeling]
and i know my heart’s emotions
synchronized with those around me:
gripping our chests
because we couldn’t reach deep
and hold our own hearts,
murmurs of agreement
of sorrow
of unthinkable pain and loss and struggles to keep humanity,
and humming catchy tunes as they remained stuck after the applause had ended,
and feeling as though the whole space —
performers
audience members
volunteers
everyone —
had hugged me and held me
as i
as we
listened to damn near unbearable story after unbearable story after unbearable story…
but we bore it,
and we were witnesses to it,
all
for the synchronization
of our
beating
hearts

February 17, 2024

maybe
one upon a time
i was happy
i was healed
i was a child without trauma
but now
i gotta
know it
own it
be it
and maybe work towards
getting back to the child we all
once were

[but why
can i not
think of children
without thinking of
every
single
child
killed by israel]

[i really can’t think of anything anymore
without finding a parallel
to the tragedy
in Palestine]

February 16, 2024

am i in a bad mood?
am i just trying to get down
and dirty
into the business
of morning poetry?
am i tired and sleepy and hungry and fatigued
with the terrorism happening in the middle east/
the horrors and atrocities
committed by our international “allies”
with our “support”/
and the fact that it feels like
no one
in power
is standing up to anyone at all?
[and the brainwashing is such that
some can look at lives lost
and feel nothing
nothing
nothing
at all]

December 3, 2023

to see the patterns of the world
as clearly as if they were marked with neon marker
on a map of time and the universe
gets pretty lonely when you notice
everyone ignoring
the nuclear colored warnings
the radiating signs
for seemingly insignificant reasons
[or huge ones — like giving power to the powerful
the genocidal
the maniacal.]

i don’t understand
not masking
i don’t understand
not demanding a total ceasefire
i don’t understand
not atoning for past mistakes
now that we know so much
better

will we ever learn past the philosophical
and put our thoughts
to action?