old friends

December 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

June 8, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

coffee
and cold brew
are like old friends i come back to
every single morning

and though ‘old companions’ are more likely to be ones
whom you don’t see for months or years at a time
it really does feel like a hug that has been waiting
for at least 365 days
when i take that first sip in the morning

July 27, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

maybe
seeing people!
(could be a couple weeks away,
could be months and months,
but at least it’s coming
soon-ish)

(and thank goodness
because i miss them all so much)

May 5, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i wish i was better
at being a full friend
instead of a ‘when i see you’
kind of ami

i’m certainly not a
‘fair weather friend’
because i’ll stick by you
in storms and sun alike,
but if i don’t get your face in my mind
and have reason to reach out
i’ll get stuck in my head about
whether or not
me contacting you would be
an inconvenience
or remind you how long it’s been since
we last connected
and so i avoid it
at all costs
and live in my own little world of
feeling like no time has passed
like we could immediately pick up a friendship
fresh from where we left off
(just have more fodder for conversation catch-up)
but i know people change
and i don’t know how to rearrange my brain
to comprehend this fact
that everyone else seems to get
accept
move
on

but there was reason we were friends back then
i don’t see why we wouldn’t still now
beautifully get along

March 9, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

if i’ve ever said
‘i love you’
i still do.

if i’ve ever told you
we should meet up for coffee
and chat the day away,
i’ve actually meant it.

if you’ve ever meant a great deal to me
you still do.

time is a mortal construction
and isn’t linear.

i don’t have
‘friendship degradation mechanics’
and if we’ve had a falling out
i’ve told you so.

if we’ve simply drifted
apart
from one another
(over time or space or experiences)
just know
i think of you often
and if you were to reach out
to me
for that coffee/chat/catchup
i’d be on top of that opportunity
in an instant

but

i don’t know how other people work,
so i don’t say ‘hey’ out of the blue
when i really mean
‘you’ve been on my mind
my whole life
and i still think of you
as you were
at 11 or 16 or 22,
but i know people grow
and i’d love to see
how you’ve grown
because you are important to me
and i love hearing you tell stories,
and debating opinions on tv shows,
and getting to see inside your soul’
because that’s
~~too much~~
for some people
(and i don’t know if that’s the direction you’ve grown
so
i play it safe

and i say

nothing.)

June 16, 2021 (part 2)

/ HJ / Leave a comment

when one is not plagued
by friendship degradation mechanics
a special vacation
to see old friends
can nearly immediately
feel abnormally normal
to the point where
you kind of forget
where you are
or how old you are
(or everything else that has happened these last few years
when folks ask how your life has been…)

~~~

driving
still equals freedom
but the freedom
explored
in the united states of america
isn’t really that free
(when was it ever?)

~~~

how are toddlers
both
straight up babies
and tiny real humans
at the same time?