new yorker

September 17, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i wish i could bottle certain feelings
and uncork and inhale them when needed

last night i had a moment of utter bliss
looking around, watching adults and artists
puppeteering giant buffalo around a warehouse in brooklyn
everyone concentrating
everyone knowing
it’s an illusion but also a very real spirit
that makes this whole herd work

it’s art and community and hope and strength
and imagination and wisdom and belief
and i damn near cried because i couldn’t believe
this is real life
this is better than i could have imagined
my time on earth
would be spent

helping native persons
helping the earth

with art and performance and everything i have ever wanted to do

i suppose i’m inhaling that bottled sense again this morning
writing about it
trying to express with words what words cannot express
but can, perhaps, capture a sample
or imitate for future use

for when i feel lost

for when i feel depressed

for when i have no hope

i can remember one hundred and sixty? seventy? eighty? people
some inside a puppet
some outside observers
learners
like me
all with one goal in mind: create conversation
for the betterment of everyone on this planet
every person, human and non-human,
and doing it with
art

art that took teams and teams to imagine and map out
and build and construct
and put final touches on
and doctor and make better
and teams to map out routes and talk with other groups
and performers and city officials and advertise so more people
will see and continue a conversation we are creating
we, this team, all voluntary, all wanting to bring to life
this art, this stampede, this dream,
this imagining

this honoring

i hope those who see from the outside tomorrow and saturday
see what i saw yesterday
feel what i felt yesterday

that it’s amazing to be
here
now

with people
with buffalo
with hope
with art
with life

let us let the earth continue to provide this magic

let us help the earth

let us help the magic

September 11, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

first time feeling like the attacks were an affront to
My
city

not to the country as a whole that everyone says i should claim
but i’m still not so certain

and it has to do with
time
community
and electing a mayor i’m so proud to have represent us

in all events

yes, even/especially at happenings for memorials and things
tonight

so fuck your anti-Muslim sentiments
because if we can’t all be americans
we can at least all be New Yorkers

i know this

and i’ll wear that badge of honor everywhere

July 19, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the only thing i looked up
in terms of the world cup
was what day it
ends

that’s today!
that’s today!

i won’t have to deal with my
city, my
commute, my
life
being interrupted
anymore
after today

[and i made sure today was a day
i stayed the fuck at home anyway]

good riddance to these hassles

and good riddance to the idea
that people would come into this country
as it slides down its slippery slope to abject fascism

i hope it was boycotted to the point of abject failure

[i sure know i’d never pay $93 to take a bus to jersey]

*side note: at least those who did travel, met american citizens in these cities
who showed our allegiance is not with the current administration,
and perhaps world relations are bettering in some ways

which i suppose is part of the point of the world cup

ugh…

May 4, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

kip
going out
doing things
meeting for dinners and
going to networking events
in the city

and me
going out
doing things
running friends around and
socializing and working outside of the house
going into [and out of] the city

we’re acting like
a couple of new yorkers!

[it only took the looming threat
of a move
and/or unemployment
to get us here]

July 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i never, ever thought i would identify
so strongly with a place

but my heart
leaps
at being called “a New Yorker”
and i can’t help but write
countless poems about
the place
and the people
and the identity

and my heart beats harder
and my anxiety lulls softer
when anywhere that reminds me
of my chosen home

[would i still feel like a New Yorker
if we fled to Paris
for safety?]

July 3, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i still can’t get over
how much this city,
though so different
from my concrete jungle,
can remind me so much
of home

from the pigeons
and mourning doves
and stray cats
everywhere

to the instances of
so many different
languages being spoken
and written down

to its walkability
and metro system,
even the tourist traps
are cute reminders
of my home’s downtown

[feeling at home
even in a foreign city —
the story of new yorkers abroad]

June 26, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

getting choked up
at rallies where we all chant
“we are New Yorkers”
to signify we won’t be beaten down
or give in
to fascism

literally tearing up
while reading the world’s responses
to our mayoral primary
“that’s my mayor”
in Cleveland
in Virginia
in New Zealand
in Europe

those damn tote bags were right —

don’t you dare call me an american
i’ve never had any
pride in my country

but don’t you dare forget
that i’m a New Yorker
and my chosen city
stands up for all our
beliefs

and when we get together on something
don’t you dare forget
what we can all accomplish
as New Yorkers
together

February 23, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

am i
((will i ever))
getting used to new york?
my new york?
the new york of constant facemasks,
and slightly less people around times square
(not that i’d ever want to go there),
and no real outings
yet;
but still the persistence,
the perseverance,
the resistance to unkind niceness
and unfounded stupidity
(not saying that isn’t around
it’s just,
as a whole,
here we are.)

and the problem with getting used to
a new york
mid-pandemic
is that, as disgusting as this city is,
i really don’t feel comfortable
or safe
anywhere else.

January 24, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

we are now
well into
the third year
of living in new york city
and though i’m not where i thought i’d be,
the whole world isn’t where it thought it’d be
either.

the pandemic has really taken the onus
off my own head
for what i wanted to accomplish
when i got here,
and redirected my aims
not lower
just sideways-er,
from theatre/circus/maybe film
to voiceover/film/maybe circus
(and a little activism in there
because how could you not be
when looking at
this world)
and theatre…?
who knows what will happen
within this third year
(within these next few months/weeks/days)
but i do know that
governmental policies (or lack thereof) really left the public
out in the cold
at the very beginning
of this whole ordeal
and haven’t been able to rectify
that harm
(nor have i seen much in the way of trying)
and i shouldn’t have expected any better
but man
do i want
to trust
that people
will do the right things,
but power seems to corrupt
even the
best of us…

but
i was talking about
living in new york city
and my life here
(or lack thereof)
and all i have to say is,
though i don’t think i ever really got
the ‘true’
living in nyc experience,
i still suspect
i couldn’t live
anywhere
else.

September 28, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the very same day
i became a homeowner
in New York City
i portrayed the epitome
of a stereotypical New Yorker
(pizza in hand, honking my car’s horn unnecessarily,
driving in that way that only New Yorkers drive)
(although, if i were a real real New Yorker
i feel like i’d have
neither house
nor car,
so there is that…)