October 2, 2026

i love doing things with my hands
creating and crafting and seeing something come to fruition
with only my fingers and a few fibers to start
and i love creating with my mind
and using letters and words and language
and the simplest of things build whole worlds
and express emotions i never thought i’d be able to express
and i love being physical
creating strength from my own muscles
creating an audience reaction through my own movement
and stage presence
and i love organizing
creating a sense of order where
once there was none
and i love acting
taking only my own experiences
and creating a whole new person
from others’ words
and my empathy
and some research
and guidance from a director
and reactions from fellow actors
and i think the conclusion this poem is giving me
is gifting me
is that everything i love has a sense of creation
and that could be the biggest aspect
of the things that i love
that i love the most

December 2, 2025

sometimes
when i don’t know what to write
i’ll just lightly tap my fingertips
against the keyboard

i don’t press any of the buttons down

it’s not to make any sort of mark
on the electronic page
rather
i’m trying to shake creativity loose
from my fingers, hands, arms,
body —
i’m trying to rain down onto the keyboard
and maybe one of these puddles
will create words
that i can splash into
and from which
i can start
a poem

August 30, 2025

i feel at odds
with my own creativity
with my own wants and needs
with my own life as i’m living it
amongst people

everything feels so fallible
so ephemeral
and i suppose it all is
it’s just, there might be some time
before all the skills and abilities
and friends and life
leaves us

so we might as well have fun while we can
[rather than worrying ourselves
into complete stagnancy]

August 6, 2025

still on the high from the retreat

trying to connect with my own creative vibe
outside of all the wonderful folks
i got to know
over three long/short days

i think [my] lesson of the retreat is:
everyone has such different methods of storytelling
and modes of writing
and even within one person there are
worlds and citizens and characters and genres
and everyone listening is so, so supportive

i think i may be able to bring something
next year

[better start writing/planning
now!]

[and that is the first time that has felt exciting
and daunting
rather than daunting and a laborious struggle]

May 26, 2025

quiet the mind
just enough to hear the important thoughts/
the creative thoughts/
the thoughts that are often drowned out
by anxiety rambling
and existential depression blues

there may be creative moments
inside those diatribes

but i’ve heard enough of them to know —
it’s getting past them
that the true me
lies

[in truth]

May 22, 2025

gibberish poems
can become
gibberish songs
which may be
exactly what i need to do
in order to stop me
from overanalyzing
and overjudging
and overscrutinizing
my own creativity