listening listening listening
to new music
to audiobooks
to the cars yelling at each other outside
to podcasts
to potential music
to my own thoughts
[and not wanting to run away screaming
or blare out with any other sound
my own thoughts, so that feels like growth]
but still
listening
listening
listening
observing
and collecting
and absorbing other people’s media
and maybe one day
making my own
gibberish poems
can become
gibberish songs
which may be
exactly what i need to do
in order to stop me
from overanalyzing
and overjudging
and overscrutinizing
my own creativity
create a playlist
that includes your own songs
because who will love our own art
if not ourselves
first?
i think
i was enamored
in the myth of celebrity
that i wanted the concept of me
as an artist
more than i wanted
to make the art
i could make
and now that i’ve turned my whole perspective upside down
and realized that celebrity might be a little [lot] too much for me
i’m so lost in terms of what kind of art i’d want to make
but the art still flows through my blood
and makes a home in my bones,
but do i treat celebrity like a goal
or a disease i’m to avoid?
or
[more likely than not]
do i try to concentrate on my art
and turn my head away from all celebrity
good
and bad
and just live in the art
that’s in my head/heart/body/soul/me
kipventures 