didn’t really write yesterday
today is seeming to be starting the same way
do i need an excuse to put this all away
or do i need to allow myself to delve
deeper
in these morning poems
than i have been doing
recently?
morning poetry
May 21, 2024
accidentally realizing
[through morning page poetry]
that i’ve tried to package my life
my feelings
my emotions
my experience
my existence
into a narrative structure
with themes and things
all tied up in a nice bow of a simple story
for other people’s consumption
just to yell at myself
that my life is mine to experience, no one else’s;
whether or not i’m enjoying my life, no one else
should get to consume it until i’m
actually gone.
i don’t need to make myself digestible
especially when i’m not even in a
‘public eye’ of any kind right now
why
did i/do i
do this to myself?
[i just want to experience something
without worrying what others will
think, looking back, as if i’m some
kind of historical figure — is that
too much to ask of my own psyche???]
May 20, 2024
i’m already well past 300 words
and i’ve gotten such good work out
for me
but not for anybody
else
maybe i should start taking old poems
and redoing them/
adjusting and rewriting
for use in a book of some kind?
i’ve now written
more than one poem every single day
for over three years now
officially 1,134 days
according to this calculator i just found
on the interwebs
let’s calculate a bit more:
i know i usually write at least three poems —
though sometimes there’s a lot more/
but sometimes i’ve skipped days to come back later
and use an unpublished poem from a previous writing session —
let’s just say it averages out to three a day
[i know this will be a low estimate]
that makes, at least 3,402 poems
[probably closer to 6,000 if we’re being honest]
[i wonder if it would be worth it
to go back and actually count
how many poems happened each day]
[that would be wild
to say
the least]
and all of this look back/calculation has helped none of the
‘i have no poem to post today’
issue…
i suppose i could post this word soup,
give the internet the knowledge
that while i post one to three poems daily
on that site, the need to write
is overwhelming sometimes,
and sometimes i just gotta write and write and write
and i guess i’ve written somewhere between 3 and 6 thousand poems
[honestly probably even more]
since i started this experiment
in april of 2021
[also, i thought it would be an
experiment that would last me a year
and here
i am…]
May 16, 2024
if only i knew what i wanted to write about/
if only i didn’t start hundreds of poems
immediately after closing up the morning poetry page/
if only i could access all the unfinished lines in my mind
from last night and prior nights
going back years and decades
and mine them for inspiration for today
now
this morning//
but instead i find myself sitting and staring/
and hoping and despairing/
and writing about writing
and random morning things
[maybe, every few weeks, i should actively make morning poetry
into nighttime poetry
and see what happens
then]
May 11, 2024
write your morning pages
do your thing
whether it takes an hour or a minute
or a day or a second
it’s there, waiting for you
wanting you to
write
March 28, 2024
focus
focus
focus
write the poems
and don’t get distracted
by the music
or the artwork
or the potential bagels
arriving
anytime
soon
focus
focus
focus
don’t be taken in by
the coffee beside you
or the potential trips
all coming up
or the gig
later today
or the stress
slowly
approaching
encroaching
focus
focus
focus
you just need 300 words
it’s not that difficult
it’s not that hard
it’s not a means to an end
but instead
a means to
a beginning
February 16, 2024
am i in a bad mood?
am i just trying to get down
and dirty
into the business
of morning poetry?
am i tired and sleepy and hungry and fatigued
with the terrorism happening in the middle east/
the horrors and atrocities
committed by our international “allies”
with our “support”/
and the fact that it feels like
no one
in power
is standing up to anyone at all?
[and the brainwashing is such that
some can look at lives lost
and feel nothing
nothing
nothing
at all]
February 7, 2024
is my problem
not
that i’m main-character-syndrome-ing
on my own,
but looking in from the outside
as if others see me
as the main character
and expect my own struggles
to come and go
and be completed
and have a story arc
isolated to a beginning middle and an end
all nicely tied up
when everything is said and done
and i can’t understand how
i’m still living when i’ve already tried
thousands of lives
on stage and off
and how is there still more of me to see?
haven’t i already lived my story?
[there’s more
there’s more
there’s more]
January 24, 2024
the one
and only
good thing
about not having kip with me
for morning poetry
time
is that their chair across from mine
can be my footstool
and i can lengthen my legs up
and relax
and stretch out
and
sit how i’d like to sit
still arms on the table
still laptop directly in front of me
but with legs propped how they’d like to be
but
that is literally the only good thing
for when they need to sleep in
for when they need to be out and working
for when they’re in a different city
or even just upstairs from me
otherwise
i miss
everything
January 14, 2024
the soundtrack of our morning
includes:
skipped songs on a playlist
whenever they have words to them,
the soft stomps of a puppy
forcing me to play with her
and whatever toy she brings me,
the tippity taps of fingers on keys
from my poetry
and kip’s programming,
and the cat
somewhere
somewhere
in this building.
kipventures 