when
will i get my
writing
back?
my churning out poem
after poem
of things
even i think
are gold?
my extended long poems
studying a single subject
until i learn
the poem wasn’t even about that
to begin with —
it was about some emotion
i’ve been feeling
but not identifying
for a while yet?
my ease
of writing poetry
every morning
without fail
without procrastination
without this trudge
through molasses
in my mind?
when?
when?
when?
going through
a ‘gak’ phase
a ‘gulp’
a ‘meh’
a ‘throw up a little in my mouth
at my own words and thoughts and talents’
time
a momentary loss
of perceived
good-at-writing
(at least from my own perspective)
and i need
to remind
myself
it happens,
it happens;
it’s temporary,
it’s temporary.
(and for now
maybe
indulge in some
bad
writing)
i feel as though i’ve
run a mile in my mind and
i still can’t seem to find
any kind
of through line
or success in a poem of mine
perhaps this is the type of morning to
hide under the sheets until
i feel human once
again
the mornings i have something to say
but really only the concept at hand
sans the ability to say it
are the weirdest mornings for me—
i can glance around
and be inspired
by the puppy
or the pillows surrounding me
or the music pounding itself
into the beats of each
heart
thump
thump
thump
but i won’t ever be satisfied
with the potential
when i know a full universe of poetry
is hiding somewhere inside of me
if i could only
access it
find the key
to my very being
it would come spilling
drip, stream, rushing
pushing poems upon poems
with each press of my pulse
on a lettered key
but i feel lost
i feel in the dark in my own soul
i feel like i may never know
my inside insights
in full…
interesting how poetry
is catalyzed by the most
and the least loved
in our lives
how can i remember
remembering
but can no longer remember
the actual thing?
~~~
it hurts my soul
to see our puppy so
sad and distressed
standing still in a cage
but it’s for her own good
and i wish
i wish
i could
explain to her in words
she’d comprehend:
‘just a few more days
and after, take it easy
and then, hopefully,
no more
puppy
prison’
~~~
how do people
craft poetry
instead of just letting
their guts fly free
internal thought process
and emotionality
all nakedly out
for any perusing
reading
eye to see?
the problem with poetry
being a daily task
is that sometimes it becomes
less of an emotional release
and a little more of a chore
but that isn’t to say i’m not getting
so much out of this
daily poetry challenge
this three years [starting today] of
at least one new poem every single
day
it is to say
that i sometimes don’t know how to turn off
the poetry brain
when i need to do my every-day unpoetical tasks,
and i sometimes don’t know how to turn off
the analytical brain
when i’m writing these
tiny pieces
of art
my goodness…
there are gorgeous sentiments
sentences/phrases
in nearly every poem i write
but the whole does not contain more than
the sum of its parts
[not yet]
and i just want to say
‘i wrote this entire poem’
with pride
instead of pointing to pieces
and trying to piece together
my whole heart
kipventures 