May 15, 2022

how are we
already
halfway through May?

(i blinked and April was gone)

but nothing will ever compare
to 2020
and the collective pressing of time
lasting forever;
that March that took
approximately eight years
to pass
and past that
i honestly don’t remember
anything
until June
(it was all March, you see)

i joke that
“time is a mortal construction”
because of a show i was in
(i was going to say once,
but technically it was twice)
and 2020 really showed us
how much of our society
really goes in to
how we perceive
the passage
of time
(and the abolishing of dst this year
did nothing to help the case
of time being anything near
concrete)

(i read once
that the only true marker
that we have
for time passing
is entropy,
all the rest of it
is simply our
perceptions,
so…)

~~~

why
do i
constantly fall into the trap
of thinking that
i don’t deserve
a “big
ol’
breakthrough”™
in my depression
if i’m not at
rock
bot-
tom
?

i’ve looked back at times
in my life
in my time
with this struggle
that seem pretty near,
but i recall clear
as day and night
are far apart
that those particular times
felt like i could always go
farther
down

depression
looks different
for different
people

so why can’t i get it through
my tick-ass skull
that rock bottom
would look different
for me
than other people?

i am not in a place
of rock bottom now,
that i can guarantee
to you and to me,
but i do feel plateaued
in a way i’ve felt
for years and years and—
–i also shouldn’t fall into the trap
of thinking that a plateau
deserves breakthroughs
any less
than a drop past the
“point of no return”™

so why
do i
find excuses
in every place
i find myself?

~~~

the puppy
wants so badly
to be friends with the cat

she sits
as calmly as her little puppy muscles can muster
and waits
for a sign of friendship

the cat, on the other hand,
simply hisses
and growls
and hides
and sighs

as the dog takes that all as signs
that the cat is conversing
and she excitedly talks back
in whining yips
and barking excites
‘come play with me!’
she seems to say
‘let’s be friends! please!? pleeeeeease!?!?!’
but the cat
is already
halfway
up the stairs
to hide just out of plain sight
or tuck herself deep under the bed
and the dog still whines
and climbs on the couch
to wait for her to show her face
in another hour or two
and the puppy whines start up again
and the hisses too,
and i hope one day
they do
actually
become friends
but today that seems…

damn near impossible

May 14, 2022

May
is going by
in the blink of an eye

~~~

i wish
sometimes
that my brain would just
chill out
for a moment

(not calm down completely;
i’ve learned my lesson there)

no, just,
give me a moment
a minute
an hour
a day
where i can be awake
but not overwhelmed with all the
‘what if’s
and ‘what could be’s,
the worries
that constantly plague me,
the overthinking
that suffers me
to ponder out
eight million possible bad outcomes
to a leap of faith
(some even stemming from
an outcome starting out
on the positive side)

does anyone else
see
both the big picture
and all the minute details
and instead of finding solace
in the breaking down of tasks
into smaller, manageable steps,
you just get overwhelmed
with the amount of tasks
that goes into everything?

or is that just me?

~~~

a rehearsal
a conversation
both later
both to look forward to

but first,
bagels
(or perhaps homemade Indian food
for breakfast)

(we’re adults, we make our own decisions in this house)

May 12, 2022

does anyone else
treat this life like a dress rehearsal,
like a rough draft,
like some sort of practice run
and keep, in their minds,
a running track of all their regrets
so that when it comes time
to actually perform/publish/play
‘for real’
they can do
life
‘right’
?

(or is that just my trauma response?)

May 5, 2022

even though you’re feeling sad
drink the coffee
do the writing

even though everything feels hopeless
drink the coffee
make the plans

even though you’d rather sleep and sleep and sleep
drink the coffee
do the day

little bursts of serotonin
may or may not add up
into an almost livable amount
of serotonin
for one mind
but at least those little bursts of serotonin
will help
for a second
or two

so

even thought it all seems so pointless
drink the coffee
eat the cookie
write the poem
talk with the spouse
play with the puppy
get out of the house
and fake it till you make it:
life edition.

~~~

yikes.

(the feels that made
that poem)

~~~

wanderlust
wanderhome
wander to me
go right now
i am waiting
arms outstretched
to feel you in them
once again
wanderlust
wanderhome
wander towards
never feeling
so alone.

April 11, 2022

sensing
something
is off

is it simply
from poems
not written with the sunrise
but instead surrounded by the setting sun?

or is it something far less poetical?

could it simply be
the chemicals in my brain
and my own continuing responses to trauma long since passed
and an inner monologue that rarely has words
but when those words appear
they are insistences that i am the worst
and worth nothing
not even an attempt at self-love?

the problem with my form of depression
is that i so rarely am able to conceptualize
the opposite emotion while drowning in one

so when i’m doing ok
i’m actually, legitimately, doing ok
and it seems bizarrely unthinkable
that i could ever be this sad,
and my actions reflect that;
talking with people,
energy to do the things i want to do
(and i enjoy doing them, too),
telling my therapist about the minor inconveniences to my day
and how i thought through them so well
and how i think i’m finally getting through my depression
intelligently
and healthily

but when the real depression hits
all that happiness seems so cheaply bought
and like i was never really in a body that found
energy
or enjoyed anything
(particularly socialization)
and i can talk myself out of any positive spin
and i can talk myself into any desperation
(but i’m still really good
and appearing fine
for therapists)

and i never really know how to go about
expressing
depression.
i know it’s trailblazing,
world-shifting,
to be honest about it;
i boast ‘mental health matters’
and boost ‘it’s ok to not be ok’
and i want to be the change i wish to see
in the world
but my deepest depression
feels private,
and i honestly don’t know
if i’m ashamed
by a society
that only listens to mental illness
when it’s already passed and gone,
when the recovery looks linear
and one can talk about that overwhelming sadness
as something from the past
(i get it;
it’s far less scary and uncontrollable that way),
or if my depression is actually just
private
feeling
to me
and only me
(or,
a third option
i hadn’t realized
until just now:
if this is what my depression does to me;
it sends me signals that i am the only one
to deal with it
as a way to separate myself
further
from those around me;
my isolation is one of the biggest
baddest
boldest
hardest
symptoms to overcome…
so perhaps it’s not society
or self
(or perhaps it’s not solely those two)
perhaps it’s the depression itself
telling me
to be alone
and lonely
and to perpetuate
the cycle
of never wanting to ask for help
so never asking for help
so furthering on the depression
ad infinitum)

a revelation
a eureka moment
about this desperate sadness
i feel
cyclically
without warning
a drowning…
but maybe this knowledge
is something
that might keep my head above water
one more
day

April 6, 2022

i am
a very stubborn person
a very strongheaded person
an i-put-my-mind-to-a-task-and-i-do-it person
a person who sets a goal and sticks to it
a person who does things

when i was sixteen years old, without a flexible muscle in my body
i decided i wanted to be flexible
so i stretched every morning
and was, after just a few months
able to do all splits
and waterfall into a back-bend
and i did this with very little knowledge
(which would bite me in the ass later,
but that’s not the point of this poem)
i wanted to be something
so i set my mind
and i did it.

i have other examples
of stubbornness
of setting my mind
but that is the one i call upon first
because it is such a clearcut example
of how i can accomplish
anything
i put my mind to

so why can’t i ever set my mind to loving myself
to forgiving myself
to cutting myself a little bit of slack
to giving myself a little bit of a mental break over things that
i probably had very little control over in the first place?

is it because i don’t actually want to love/forgive/let myself off the hook?

i’d say
probably

(but then that brings up a whole new question
which is
why?

why do i think i don’t deserve love?
why do i think i’m reprehensible if i dare to cut myself the tiniest bit of slack?
why does my feeling of worthiness come directly from how worthless i can
make myself feel?

this doesn’t seem healthy or accurate or growth-inducing

so why do i still do it?)

(i don’t have any answers right now)

April 4, 2022

the pacing
of the pattern
is getting closer…

how did weeks of
inspired writing
followed by
existential creative despair
turn to days
to maybe hours now?

i’m losing concentration
faster than i’m gaining traction
and i just want to be able to stick to a day
and live it all the way through
without naps interrupting
or needing something to drown out my thoughts…

i keep having impulses to do things–
wanting to sew, but on the days i actually have time,
i sit down to a project;
it all feels so overwhelming
and at the same time meaningless.

it’s hard to battle the depression in your head
when it’s both a foreign invader
and your closest, best friend,
[and also, in many many ways,
just yourself.]

this poem is a mess
but so is my head lately

(and in an hour or two,
i bet you anything
i’ll be fine)

February 25, 2022

amidst the attacks
on trans kids’ care
and Ukraine
and the continued unfounded laxations
on policies meant to keep us safe and healthy
and, of course, the never-ending attacks of
those of color in this country
(particularly those Black in this country)

amidst all this tragedy and infuriation and chaos yesterday
i achieved a personal best,
an achievement,
a goal i’d thought unattainable,

and i need to remind myself that i’m allowed to celebrate that.

i can celebrate and mourn,
i can celebrate and call to action,
i can celebrate and take action,
i am not required to fix the world
before i work on my silly little circus moves

in fact

working on my silly little circus moves
is what gives me the strength to do all i need to for the world…

without circus,
without celebration,
without exercise and investigation
of what my body can do,
without art and all i do to self-express,
without that humanity
i am simply left
a giant mass of depression,

and depression/forlornness/existential dread;
that is [part of] what maintains the status quo.

without art/celebration/joy
i am left overwhelmed with all that needs to be done
in the world.

with,
i can balance
all i know is terrible
with my little pieces of what is good,
so i can have the energy to call representatives
and give my little bits of extra income
and write poetry to [maybe] inspire others
as well

we,
those of us who are queer,
those of us with mental states that fill us
with anxiety
and/or
despair,
we are human
and are allowed our humanity,
our joy,
our celebration,
our art,

and, as a lovely side-effect,
that humanity,
when taken,
can help us do our part
to negate some of the external sources
of our stress and panic and dread.

i am allowed to celebrate
just to celebrate
because i am human
(no matter how many conservative lawmakers try to deny that about me and my kin)
i am human
and i am allowed joy in my life

and perhaps my joy can uplift others in their joy as well

so here’s to baby’s first solid, unassisted, one-armed meathook,
to the side-abs i am creating
and the joy i am stoking
in myself
because i am allowed,
i need no external validation
but it helps to hear it out loud all the same,
i am allowed
i am allowed
and i can bring others up as well.

February 10, 2022

i’m so sad
too sad
the sad that doesn’t go away
the sad where the minute you think you’ve made progress
you’ve figured out that feelings are all meaningless
and will pass any moment now
into a new feeling
you are reminded of some way you are
objectively
awful
(forgotten appointments/
late projects/
letting people down/
not good enough for your own standards/
etc./etc./etc./)
and you fall into that pit
once more
(not that you’d gotten out
you had just climbed far enough
to at least see the light,
but here you are
[rock]bottom of the pit of despair
)

(…but you know
this could all be a trap
that pit could have a trick floor
a trap door
and you could be pulled
even more
even further
even farther
down.)

December 13, 2021

cover up
distract
work through

exercise
fight it
meditate

wait it out
wait it out
wait it out

i know one of these will work
but damn this depression
(like all others before
and all others yet to come)
has me feeling like

Truly
This Time
Nothing
Will Ever
Work.