this morning’s
morning pages
are going quite
stiltedly
but at least we
are kips
in a kip house
at a kip table
with kip pets
all around us
about to eat some
kip breakfast day
this morning’s
morning pages
are going quite
stiltedly
but at least we
are kips
in a kip house
at a kip table
with kip pets
all around us
about to eat some
kip breakfast day
friday the thirteenth
fridays the thirteenth
friday the thirteenths
fridays the thirteenths
any way you say it
we’re married because of it
[and i’m so happy with it,
even after all these years]
nine years
married
a married-a-versary
[in this world we’re living in]
but
queer joy is resistance
and showing resilience
and we can do it
while also
using our privilege to help others
in our
community
every time
we see a thirteen
in the date, we have to say:
“gasp! happy manniversary!”
even if it’s not a friday
even if it’s not in may
because every thirteenth
is our favorite day
[even when they don’t go so well,
or we don’t really celebrate
our anniversary
that day]
and we need a little more
joy
in our lives these days
[so here’s to
eight years
and eight months
of marriage!]
watching Kip
the day before their birthday
assemble legos
and read fun facts and trivia
about the plants they are re-creating
with little plastic bricks
for me
is love
incarnate
listening to lovely music
(modern classical, in case you’re interested)
chatting with my Kip over coffee
about workers and wages
and contemporary conveniences
and whether ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ rhetoric
came out of union slander
or not
a regular morning in this
household
the two kips
unfocused
in two different ways
someone help someone write something
(sometimes you just need to fumble over words
at each other
making the other person laugh
before you come up with the
perfect plan
and go back to writing
immédiatement)
connection
in this day and age
of high speed internet
and loudfast cars down the street
and split second decisions
is so rare
but somehow we found each other
and talking with you makes time stop
and we push each other to create a legacy
while still reminding each other to sit in the garden
for as long as the dog will allow us
and our skin on skin contact
is my favorite feeling
in the universe
so let’s continue this
for another five/ten years
because i was just treading water
before you came into my life
2-2-22
[two, two, two two]
and groundhog day
is my delight of fun dates lessened
because i’m no longer in a class where
writing the date is required,
and i no longer have dozens of other students around me
commenting on the weirdness/wonder-ness
of the date
let’s see if i can get that same high
just from spousal conversation;
the delighted “ah!”
akin to the noise [i’d believe] would come
out of the mouth of a baby velociraptor
that just emitted from my blue-haired spouse’s mouth
has made up for
years
without classmates
(and years with)
and how wonderful that i get to live this life
with this Kip
(especially since,
when i was a child in those classrooms,
i was sure,
absolutely, 100% convinced
that i would never be partnered
because my ‘weird’ was too much
for anyone else to love
(and also because, you know, the trauma,
and deals i made with myself
to avoid giving love to another
who may end up leaving me)
and yes, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed
but i now have hundreds of these morning page poems
each encapsulating a memory,
most across a giant, cluttered table,
writing early morning musings
while my spouse does the same
(or programs)
(or peruses the internet)
(or writes emails)
and those mornings turn into days
of silly moments during work hours
stealing a kiss because we missed each other,
and evenings of silly videos
or deep conversations
or delicious meals
or tight cuddles
or cat-hassling
or meandering dog walks
(oftentimes most or all of the above)
and baby HJ never thought they’d encounter
a human being
who could love them so much
warts (and tears) (and weirds) and all.