magic

September 17, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i wish i could bottle certain feelings
and uncork and inhale them when needed

last night i had a moment of utter bliss
looking around, watching adults and artists
puppeteering giant buffalo around a warehouse in brooklyn
everyone concentrating
everyone knowing
it’s an illusion but also a very real spirit
that makes this whole herd work

it’s art and community and hope and strength
and imagination and wisdom and belief
and i damn near cried because i couldn’t believe
this is real life
this is better than i could have imagined
my time on earth
would be spent

helping native persons
helping the earth

with art and performance and everything i have ever wanted to do

i suppose i’m inhaling that bottled sense again this morning
writing about it
trying to express with words what words cannot express
but can, perhaps, capture a sample
or imitate for future use

for when i feel lost

for when i feel depressed

for when i have no hope

i can remember one hundred and sixty? seventy? eighty? people
some inside a puppet
some outside observers
learners
like me
all with one goal in mind: create conversation
for the betterment of everyone on this planet
every person, human and non-human,
and doing it with
art

art that took teams and teams to imagine and map out
and build and construct
and put final touches on
and doctor and make better
and teams to map out routes and talk with other groups
and performers and city officials and advertise so more people
will see and continue a conversation we are creating
we, this team, all voluntary, all wanting to bring to life
this art, this stampede, this dream,
this imagining

this honoring

i hope those who see from the outside tomorrow and saturday
see what i saw yesterday
feel what i felt yesterday

that it’s amazing to be
here
now

with people
with buffalo
with hope
with art
with life

let us let the earth continue to provide this magic

let us help the earth

let us help the magic

August 17, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

hike the paths deep into the woods
[after you’ve exited deep out of the parking lot]
and come upon a little village
always here
but only open part-time
of historical and fantastical
and magical and mystical
and sometimes [often] a bit [a lot] silly

the New York Renaissance Faire

there are countless [though i’m sure they’ve all been counted]
shops
and eateries
and stages
and shows
all boasting this as their home
[even if it only lasts from mid-august to
the very tip of october]

a beautiful place
an overwhelming event
a wonderful community
and a time to be had

by all
who want it
by all
who need it
by all

May 20, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

The Citadel shouldn’t exist

not morally, but physically

towers upon towers of structures in space
constantly needing rebuilding and maintenance
just the right distance from the biggest wormhole in the galaxy
that somehow makes its orbit stable
[for now]

it’s been around for a thousand years now
and some towers have more modern technology
than others, and still others have weird amalgamations
of the old and the new,
and even more feel like they’re still standing
still resistant to the vacuum of space
through a hope and a prayer
and maybe some sort of space magic
we don’t yet understand

but The Citadel still stands

and it really shouldn’t, if you think about it

but no one thinks about it too long

because once you do, you wonder if it should exist at all

and once you wonder, you wonder if you made it all up

and it actually doesn’t

July 8, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

who would have guessed
the Eiffel Tower lit up
in magical sparkles
at 10:00pm
[22:00]
?

[probably all those tourists we were walking towards,
but it was a complete surprise for us, as was
the time of the evening]

[still, très magique]

March 31, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

Trans Day of
Visibility
Trans Day of
Being
Trans Day
of Moving
of Growing
of Expanding
of Transcending
all expectations
and irrational rules
that the rulers of our society
deem
“right” only by way of
following
and not questioning
and having our heads down
as lambs in line for slaughter

but our Black Sheep
our Trans Sheep
our Questioning
Querying
Queers
who force others to ask
“Why”
of those usurpers of power
when only faced with the fact of our Existence

and though that scares some into
violence,
Trans Day of
Power
reminds us that
Simply our State of Being is enough
to topple regimes that seem to have been around for ages
[but hundreds of years is nothing
in the grand scheme of our
Existence]

Trans Day of
Millennia
upon Millennia
of our History

Trans Day of
The People

Trans Day of
Reminding Ourselves that when we feel
attacked
and disempowered
and scared
we have All of our
Ancestors
behind us

Trans Day of
Visibility

today might be
a terrifying day
[especially in the u.s. of a.]
to be Visible
to be Trans
when we are the scapegoat
of all that seems to be
the system
breaking

but Trans Day of
Enlightenment
Trans Day
of Knowing
that every
Trans Day
of
Visibility
only makes our Magic
More Apparent

We Are
Sacred

and We Have Always Fought For
Everyone’s
Liberation

May 12, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

certain music makes me certain
there’s magic somewhere in the air
maybe we can’t see it
maybe we can’t know it
but maybe we can feel it
in our core
in our bones
in our soul
where other magic lays in wait
for the perfect moment
to show its face
to provide a fate
out of the ordinary

[what is creativity
if not a magic of the mind?]

October 14, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

most
genderqueer folks
i know
(myself absolutely included)
would give anything
to be
a metamorphmagus–
not to live in the world
that TERF jk created–
but to be able
to fit our outside appearance
to what it is inside
as it changes
daily

some days i’d be
flat chested
small hipped
medium hight
the perfect twink
to flirt and tease and captivate with ease

and some days i’d be so ripped
so big
so swole
(imagine
being able to change your muscle density
at will–
to be able to build the strength
instantaneously–
what a circus dream)

and some days
i might
go back to this body
(or similar,
still probably
with less mass
most places,
but especially
at the chest
and side hips)
change my hair
to fit my mood–
no more dye necessary
to complete the rainbow–
but also
on days i want to just fit in
and pass by
i could
with the blink of an eye
a thought of the mind
visualize and divine

and for acting,
for roles,
never worrying
if i might be tall enough
or blonde enough
or thin enough,
no more worrying
about appearance as casting
only go for things
that hit my soul and personality
and make me feel something

if only
if only
if only
i cry
into the void
up towards the sky
out to a world where magic
ceases
the minute it reaches
me

or at least that’s how
it feels
to not fully be
meta
morph
magus

what a transphobic
existence

July 18, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i can write
homage
after
ode
after
poem
to my favorite weather event
but it remains just that
‘a weather event’
but i view thunderstorms
as something so much more—

when i was 12 or so,
somewhere around the time
you still believe in magic
but are old enough to know
you shouldn’t,
i held a conversation with a thunderstorm
and i feel like it was one of the last moments
i truly suspended
my disbelief.
i went in knowing it probably wasn’t real
but i decided
that for the duration of the thunderstorm
every boom
was an answer
to a question
and i’d know in my heart
what that answer meant.
and i sat on my porch
and held conference
with the storm
for the entirety
of its travel
over us
and i’ll never forget
that thunderstorm
(and with what little i understand
about weather
it seems entirely plausible to me
that every thunderstorm
is the same thunderstorm
coming back to check on
the one child
who ever showed interest
in its
dreams
and
nightmares.)

and that
is just one reason
out of multitudes
of why
i love thunderstorms
so much.