i so appreciate my kip
for being there with me
as i state
the state of my mind
and emotions
and they comfort
or support
or advise
as i need/ask
our communication has always been
one of my favorite things about us
for there will always be
times of stress, it’s how
we tackle them together,
on the same team, that counts
ten years
it feels too long
and not long enough
like we just got married this morning
but also we’ve been wedded for a hundred thousand years
i know you so well
and
i’m learning you every day
and i love this adventure we’ve got going
and just started
and i cannot
cannot
cannot wait
for tomorrow
and the next ten
or ten million
years by your side
i say gay
in relation to everything
not in the way i grew up with it
as a synonym for “stupid” for “gross” for “bad”
but as a loving reaction
meaning
“awww!”
meaning
“love”
meaning
“i’m part of this in group and i adore it so much”
meaning
“odd and weird, and i am so proud of being odd and weird myself”
meaning
“yep, that’s true”
meaning
“well, now it’s almost mundane,
but that’s better than it ever was
in early 2000’s high school name-calling”
meaning
“i’ve embraced it so much, we’ve come out the other side
and once again, we’re calling everything
gay
but with rainbows and goodness and love this time!”
when lying on your deathbed
with your last breath
you can’t take it with you —
power accrued
wealth amassed
bodies stylized
any of that
what stays with you is
love
and
your acceptance of self
i’ve seen the love in a room
carry a soul
to whatever comes next
and i know when i die
i may have some small regrets
but you’ll never find me regretting
the person i’ve become
so what
is the point
of what so much of humanity
has
done?
what a nightmare
of a night
what with screaming cats
and whining puppies
and keeping us up all night
[especially when we were both so excited
to go to sleep so early
and sleep in just a bit]
but
but
but
however
i’d rather have these animals
and have them interrupt our sleeps
with their hassles
than not have them at all
and that’s the truth
[damn, love is crazy]
half asleep
half awake
half in love with
half the people
here on half this earth
[though i love the whole planet
like i can’t get away from
my own desires, crying when i see
a single beam of sun
encroach over the horizon
of a view i’ve never seen in real life/
or simply the leaves of trees
i always see
but rarely really
look at
on my daily commute
using human infrastructure
and human pathways
to get to human-created endeavors
and human-built buildings
but right here
are magics
we could never
ever
ever begin to
develop on our own
without the pathways led to us
for us
from the
earth]
every
single thing
on this planet
is so fucking special
i cannot
cannot
get over it
[this could include
humans
and humanity…
does it?]
nine years
married
a married-a-versary
[in this world we’re living in]
but
queer joy is resistance
and showing resilience
and we can do it
while also
using our privilege to help others
in our
community
children
and philosophers
wonder at the wonder of the world
children
and writers
imagine all the what-ifs
children
and actors
inhabit others’ stories
children
and tinkerers
mess around with physical objects
to see what can be done
i don’t think that it is only one kind of person
or profession that
keeps the “play” alive
from childhood
the key is simply to find a way
to keep your own childhood loves
going and going and going
so you never
lose them
every time
we see a thirteen
in the date, we have to say:
“gasp! happy manniversary!”
even if it’s not a friday
even if it’s not in may
because every thirteenth
is our favorite day
[even when they don’t go so well,
or we don’t really celebrate
our anniversary
that day]
and we need a little more
joy
in our lives these days
[so here’s to
eight years
and eight months
of marriage!]
i want to resist
with love
and creativity
and i know the other side
has so much hatred
to fuel their fire
and it will get to me
it will get to me
but i’d rather stay soft
and weepy
than let blind rage lead me
to hurting anyone
inside
or outside
my community
kipventures 