lost in a dream

December 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

September 19, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

waking moments
still stuck in dreams
trying to keep track of
what is reality
and what might not be

and what makes sense to me
is that there is not any one solid answer

it’s all just chemical reactions and brain synapses
trying to make sense of a world that just
doesn’t

August 23, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

waking up from a wild dream
with ideas for a story
but honestly, once fully awake,
there are far more questions about this concept
than an initial start to writing

but i suppose i’ll just have to see
what it may become
eventually

by writing it

April 29, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

my mind is stuck in the dream i had
where all i can remember is the concept
and the feeling
but i have no words to describe it
except
possibility
and hope
and space exploration
[and maybe cryogenic stasis?]
but it felt a lot like apartments of today
except
it was on a space station?
[or would be
in a minute]
and we were trying
we were giving it a chance
we were hoping
we were giving the concept of hope
a chance
in our hearts
and lives
and i don’t know why
that hits so hard
in this year 2025
but it does
it does

September 1, 2024

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i’m lost in a dream
and the future as it seems
to spread out in front of
and behind me
and i still can’t get a good grasp
on the present, that’s the one thing
hidden away
lost
unfindable
irreplaceable —

the past keeps adding up
and the future is infinite
it is only the present as it is
that is only
one thing

August 26, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

stress dreams about travel
and hotel stays
and alarm systems
and cats
and i am still so tired
and though i don’t want to go back into the dream
[admittedly, there was some kind of mystery
i would have liked to figure out]
the desire to go back to sleep
after eating some sort of breakfast
and playing some sort of game
is so strong
i’m letting myself write myself tired
rather than write myself
awake

February 29, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

a first leap day
of this poetry project
and i’m still stuck in my head
in processing a dream i had
about churches on roller coaster tracks
and fast fast carousel spins of UU congregations
for the purpose of awareness
for the purpose of social change
for saying Nex Benedict’s name
and never again
never again
never again

October 28, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

my eyes droop
heavy-lidded
with sleep not-yet forgotten

dreams hold me in their vice-grips
and i can’t escape
even what i can’t remember

i once asked someone what some part of my personality
meant in terms of the rest of me
and they stated, very plainly, that i don’t live in reality
(at least not when i can help it)
and i completely
agree

July 2, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i have a recurring dream
(in that it has happened twice)
where i’m trying to get to a
circus training place in
Bushwick
but the daytime trains are all delayed
so i have to take a lesser known line
but instead of being like a regular
subway
system
or even an
elevated train
it is pretty much a
mine cart
tromping
open aired
through secret forested areas of Brooklyn
on smaller rail lines
held up on top of stones and rocks
reminiscent of the tracks
i grew up
walking along
at all hours
day
and
night.