the concept of living on
borrowed time
of surviving past
when you should be gone
often implies
a sense of freedom
of living each day like your last
but the true implications
of living on borrowed time
skew
negative:
like you could be gone at any moment
so you live always looking over your shoulder,
and that’s why i identify
more
with living on borrowed time
because surviving past my teen-hood
(a feat i literally never imagined)
never brought me a sense
of living life to the fullest;
instead i’m constantly wondering
‘when’???

i was so certain of when it would be
and that passed
but i’m living on borrowed time
it’s gotta happen someday
so,
like i said…
when???