June 19, 2021

hiking up Machu Picchu
elevated
inclinated
[yes, i know the word “inclined” there would be fine]
my breath failed me
over
and over
and over again

i learned that “possibility of very slight asthma”
that i was diagnosed with
in childhood
really hits you
when the air surrounding you steals your lung capacity.

i was never good at cardio
even now that i’m more fit than i ever was as a child
i dread anything that gathers my heart rate into higher levels

so though i love walking around nature,
the concept of “hiking” only brings joy to my heart,
until we are no longer on level ground.
inclines remind me of the never-ending upwards motion
when my lungs gave out
(but we had places to be
and a time to be there by)

but hiking through the park yesterday
a small amount of incline
to get to a nice picnic area
surrounded by shady tress
i did ok.

(it shouldn’t be surprising
DC is not nearly as far above sea level
as Cusco,
but any upwards movement
comes with a great deal of apprehension)

and i did ok
and we all did ok
(just ok, we could have done better,)
and both my spouse and i
commented
on how four flights of stairs
for the last year and a half
should make us better at hiking up inclines

but it sure does not.

June 15, 2021

figuring out our foundations;
both of us grew up
just outside of a suburban border
(not quite country)
and staying in green
with bugs
and wildlife
and stars and sky
feels so good

but also,
after a year and a half in The City
(The City that Never Sleeps, The Big Apple, The Greatest City in the World)
we can’t imagine living anywhere else.
we would miss the convenience of walking to get everywhere,
an actually useful public transportation system,
the resilience of all the people,
observing those completely unlike you
(and seeing dozens of people exactly like you,
no matter how unique you think you are)

(how quickly New York steals your heart)

October 7, 2020

the moment passed
without much fanfare
of how long we’ve been living in NYC with
[rather than without]
a pandemic at our heels.

i thought it would feel different
but time hasn’t felt ‘natural’
since March.

the days pass in decades
and months are gone by the time you
open your eyes from a
blink.

it would have been
somewhere
around late July
and we’ve known more New York
within COVID
than out

and even if we track
for those weeks we stayed
preparing for the eventual move
and even if we track
for those weeks i visited
before knowing i’d ever
live here

let’s get all those weeks
out of the way
and add a buffer
and still

late September

and i’ve known more about COVID New York
Pandemic New York
Quarantine New York
than pre-any-of-this.

and yet
the whole effect of living in a place
in a quarantine
is that you don’t see the city
so maybe take out the days we were stuck inside?

but that’s more math than i’m willing to do right now
instead i’ll ask
has there really ever been a ‘real’ way
to live in
New York City?