July 8, 2026

writing has always been how i
come to terms with my emotions

even before i wrote poetry every morning
i would analyze things through personal essay

and even before i was intrigued by a writing major
i was writing-creating things
constantly:

scenes
lists of characters
concepts
a single piece of dialogue
just a whole bunch of names i loved

while those might not be the
standard journal-to-figure-out-ones-feelings kind of writings
i think they were my way of figuring things out
in my brain — lists to organize the chaos
constantly thinking in theatre
ideas upon ideas upon ideas

maybe that’s what i should do as a writing challenge;
find one of the concepts i created as a child
and see how far i get in the process of fully committing to it
and creating it
and making it come to life as a fully fleshed-out piece
[whatever kind of writing that may be]
as an adult…

that could be fun…!

May 18, 2022

staring at your phone
won’t make your boredom alleviate,
but i do it anyway.

procrastinating your projects
won’t make them arrive any slower,
but guess what i do.

stress dreaming about choreography,
about packing and school long since freed,
or any sort of event approaching at gathering speed,
doesn’t seem to help in the least,
but that’s what my subconscious thinks will help me.

~~~

i can sometimes feel the stress
in my forehead
when i’m contemplating life,
or doom-scrolling through each app
that brings me no joy, only sorrow,

and when i feel
my muscles tightened,
and my eyebrows furrowed,
and my body edging towards taking on
on a tenseness i haven’t felt since college,
i try to relax that part of my face
where the stress enters.
and sometimes it does help
(and sometimes it does not)

~~~

i make lists,
but sometimes i wonder if
i’d be a more mellow human
were i to simply
not.