December 10, 2023

i went to a theatrical production last night
a collection of shorts/
staged-reading
written by a friend.
it was incredibly compelling —
so much talent,
such a beautiful person and writer

but

what i will probably end up remembering from that night
is waiting for the show to start, and having no one to talk to
so instead my kip (through text) suggested i write them a letter
and so i did — remembering old letters we’ve written to each other,
times in our lives before we made one singular life together,
and through writing my feelings out, realized just how much i rely on them
[they are, after all, my emotional support kip]
and love them
so
so
so
much.

[i don’t think we had lost any fondness for each other,
but absence sure does make the heart grow fonder —
even if that absence is simply a six-hour excursion to brooklyn]

January 30, 2023

when i write
i write at a table
but i don’t use the table
(except to hold my morning coffee)
i slide down in my chair
and lift my legs to the other across
and lay my laptop across my lap
cross one foot over the other
and write until my legs or butt falls asleep
or until my terrible posture hurts my back
or until my arms start to get sore
from low-key holding my laptop on my criss-crossed lap
and somehow this works for me
though i can’t help but imagine
a me
where i sit properly
feet fully reaching the floor
posture great
writing without pain sneaking its way in
and wonder if
i’d write
better
longer
if i sat like
a regular person

~~~

the cat gallops upstairs
chasing invisible ghosts
and singing the song of her kin
and at least she can amuse herself like this
for hours on end
while we break our evening’s fast with coffee and poetry and song
the cat’s harmony never quite fitting with whatever we play
but that’s why we love it (and her) so

~~~

i would like to write a letter to my grandmama some time today
because she constantly writes me lovely greetings
‘how are you’s’ and ‘here’s been my day’
and i love them so much.
and i’ve told her,
but i know the reciprocal is just as loved as the appreciation
and she literally said she wonders how we’re doing
so i suppose that’s what is on my agenda
(other than circus)
today