perhaps this
decision paralysis
is why i’ve said yes
to being part of things —
ensemble
background
rather than leading
because others can actually take an active role
while i am overwhelmed at even the potentiality of a leadership anything

and i can follow
not because i am a follower
but because following action
is the action i’ve allowed myself, somehow, to actually do

my default state is action

it is the frozen with too many choices
that has become my leadership achilles heel

and in order to heal
i need[ed] to take a step
backwards

so that i may indeed
lead forward
again
soon