when one smacks a mosquito
good and full against
an arm or a leg or a wall or a table
there often remains
a dusty shadow of the mosquito
as if to say
“here is the evidence that you’ve taken a life,
now deal with it.”
kinship worldview
November 18, 2024
kip and i have been adding
“for the resistance”
to the end of any task we do
because keeping our
queer
mentally ill
trans
asses
alive
is 100% part of the resistance
so we are making bagels
for the resistance
and taking lovely walks
for the resistance
and playing video games
for the resistance
and writing poetry
for the resistance
and loving each other
for the resistance
and loving ourselves
for the resistance
it is resisting everyone who says we don’t belong
on this planet
that clearly holds us close
and loves us
that we do
for the
resistance
February 21, 2023
the concept of community scares me
and i know the ancestors of this land
would balk
at that self-assessment
but i bet white supremacy would smile
feeling/being only beholden to oneself
makes for
either
one great bootstraps story
or
one of many that the upper-crust doesn’t have to deal with
other than as
stepping stones
but i was born and raised in this society
that values individuality above all else
and insists that, even within social standing
that place is precarious at best
(imagine entire books/movies/tv episodes
about a whole friend group
turning against you
for no reason other than
they can)
so to be solidly a part of a posse
you should be the one holding
all the power
that isn’t sustainable
that isn’t healthy
that isn’t the way humanity should be
but
i’ve lived it
multiple times
so please, caretakers of turtle island
i feel whispering in my flailing mind
from time to time,
forgive me as i resist the concept of community
and rely on only myself
and my spouse
for literally everything–
i’m only doing what i was taught
for the first 30 or so years of my life
and experienced from others
taught the same way…
my heart is vulnerable
but quite willing
to learn
January 9, 2023
i am far away from my native lands
both in space
and in time
but i am native to the Earth
and i do have a land that raised me
that moulded me
as i trudged and trotted along
creeks
and fields
and farms
and forests
paying little to no attention
to human intervention
but instead lost in my own imagination
speaking for two, three, five, ten at a time
plays and stories and series in my mind
and the dirt never betrayed me
and the insects never bit more than i could handle
and the animals provided distraction
when i hit an imaginary interpersonal problem
and everything i saw/heard/touched/tasted/smelled
informed my curiosity
and invited me back
day
after
week
after
month
after
season
after
year
i wish i could go back today
but i don’t know how it’s changed
and i’m scared of feeling betrayed
by my own damn species
(or having it seem exactly the same,
and overwhelmed by how much
i’ve changed)
but
i’ve taken on this land
as my new home
and learning as i am
about kinship and the land and more-than-human persons
i’d like to care for this portion of the Earth
as the Earth
once cared
for me
December 11, 2022
the more i read and research
the kinship worldview
the more i think i might not have been that crazy
when i spoke with that thunderstorm
when i feel like the trees are waving to me in the breeze
and it’s not like the selfish feelings i get
when i ponder an omniscient god
what would one entity do for me?
why would one entity do/
pay attention to/
contemplate
me?
but a single tree when i am the only one around?
a storm passing by and sticking around long enough for a conversation
even if they add up to one universe
i feel connection with the pieces
and maybe that’s how i
connect
with the energy
around me
(and maybe that’s how
i’ll forgive my
younger transgressions
when i was simply asking for attention
from the only beings around me—
—the planet)
September 28, 2022
my father warned me
to be careful
with my love,
to not say it
unless i truly meant it,
to dole it out in
parts
because caution
was his motto
i told him i do mean it
fully
every time i tell a friend
those three words
and with the family, too
i give out my love
to those who deserve it
(and yes, some who may not
but still probably need it)
because love is not
a finite resource–
it’s an energy
that bounces around the universe
sparkling through humans
and non-humans alike
(don’t come at me
and don’t tell me dogs
don’t love/
or any pet
for that matter/
or the earth
to continue turning/
and the sun to continue shining/
and the breeze to continue blowing/
even tho we
constantly
take them all for granted
and destroy them like they weren’t
the finite resource
my father tried
to convince me of
with love)
love
is healing
love
is what we need
now
love
can’t fix everything
but it is a
very good
beginning
so
i love you
and i mean it.
(this poem was inspired by
the kinship worldview
a philosophy for living
that most, if not all
Indigenous communities share
and i learned about
from a book
that you should read too,
called “Restoring The Kinship Worldview”
that may give you something
to meditate
about)
September 6, 2022
there is a house plant
i was certain was dead
so i tucked it outside
just to get the sadness out of my head
but the plant,
with natural sun and rainwater grew
from the tiniest sickly shrivel
to four full leaves popping through
that isn’t to say
the outside is always a sanctuary
(our peach tree and hydrangea
can attest to that theory)
but i suppose what’s here,
the moral to this story and the full truth,
is that sometimes all you really need
is naturally occurring on our Mother Earth
kipventures 