kindness

October 5, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i got
a sudden sad
yesterday

appearing out of
[seemingly]
nowhere, bubbling up to my eyes
hot with unexpected tears
all of a sudden
filling
overflowing
dripping down my
sad sad face
as i searched for something
to take the pain even slightly
away

and my kip was there to hold me
[the only thing that ever truly helps]
and jiggle/wiggle me around
to make me laugh some of the tears away

and the puppy was there to nuzzle into my face
and dry up the dripped tears with her fur

and the cat was there
to confuse my sadness away
when she tried to lick the inside of my
recently emptied coffee mug

but later

kip was on the couch
slowly melting to prone
as the weight of the news
read from the phone
crushed them down
gravity invading their bones
until they couldn’t move anymore

and i had used up all my personal stock of
any sort of ‘light at the end of the
fascist
tunnel’ feeling to wipe my eyes
and continue the laundry that needed
to be done,
so i couldn’t be there for my kip
as they had just been there for me
experiencing the same sadness
i had just
felt

this is a horrible timeline

why can’t people
[in power]
just
be
kind?

September 28, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’ve ignored the outside
for too long
for not long enough

it’s still impacting me
it’s still making its way inside

what’s wrong with living a life
pretending
all of humanity
is actually
kind?

[can “fake it till you make it”
apply to expectations
of others?]

September 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i tried so hard to keep up with the news
and the world
i really did

and it impacted my mental health
so hard
i could hardly stand it

it was like i had leapt off a pier
and dove headfirst into the
first bad mood my body could find

and i know i should be more aware of the world around me
i know this
i do
but sometimes
sometimes
i think my reason for being here
is to have the impact of utter kindness,
and i don’t know if i can do that
if i know how cruel the world really is

i already know
logically

i already know
hypothetically

but if i avoid knowing the real reality

perhaps i can be kind to someone
who might have been mean to me
and perhaps change their brain chemistry
for the better
[but if i knew to avoid
their face/their clothes/their demeanor
would that not increase the division between us?]

[or is it only my people
my kinds of folks
who need my kindness
now?]

[i honestly don’t know…]

May 29, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the overwhelming ache
of knowing strangers’
wants
and needs
and their own aches

and feeling hopeless
and helpless

even while knowing
individuals cannot save everyone —

it is companies and economies
and governmental systems
that keep those in want
wanting,

and keep those in the place of
being able to give
here
and there
stuck
in overwhelm…

fuck capitalism.

where is our revolution
of kindness?

May 14, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

interestingly
i am not a perfectly moral being

and i feel like the few times i’ve
strayed
from the morality i’d like
have influenced me the most
in keeping kindness and honesty
at the top of my
values tree

[now why can’t my perfectionism hear that
and substitute in “mistakes”
and feel like making them
would just make my talent and skills
even
greater???]

April 28, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i don’t actually know what it means
to be
a great writer
a great poet

i’m just sitting here
at my messy dinner table
early in the morning
writing whatever comes to mind
as a way to encourage myself
to deal with the day
that is coming towards me
at breakneck speed

maybe,
when you’re in your ‘fighting a [seemingly] losing war
against fascism with the best tool you have —
kindness’ era
you’ll understand

~~~

i feel like this kind of morning
and this kind of writing
is the reason i started this challenge to begin with

i feel more awake
more aware
more ready to start my day

though i still need to edit and pick and send in the audition
i feel so much more prepared for it
now

~~~

“you look like such a writer!”
of my big sweater
comfy tee
glasses
bun
and coffee in hand

and i do, don’t i?
i do…

March 9, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

pondering philosophies —
i wonder why i
seem to flounder when it comes to
strong opinions and staunch stances

but that’s just from the inside

if i zoom out, i realize
i do have a very strong morality —
a constant running baseline
that i live my life by:
kindness

and if i zoom out a little further,
i can see how living my life
with so much pressure and hatred towards myself
is in direct opposition to my main focal philosophy…
perhaps
perhaps
perhaps
i need to be kind to myself
in order to feel more like
the myself i would like
to be

January 31, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

everything feels like sci fi these days

whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day

or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us

or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]

and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears

it really does feel
like sci fi
around here

November 8, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i want to resist
with love
and creativity
and i know the other side
has so much hatred
to fuel their fire
and it will get to me
it will get to me

but i’d rather stay soft
and weepy
than let blind rage lead me
to hurting anyone
inside
or outside
my community

September 17, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

no one
can know everyone
and all we can get is a general vibe
of the wants and desires of a majroity

but when will the majority default to kindness?

and when will those in power listen to the majority anyway?